Stack Bundlez
26-01-2006, 13:34
[ After joining Jay-Z on stage, and becoming a free agent in the music industry, Nas finally decides to sign to Def Jam for his next few releases. This afternoon, he shows up to Jigga's board room to finalize the deal, and discuss his future at the label. ]
Jay: Welcome, welcome.. come on in Nas.
Nas: What up big homie. Word.
(( Nas gives Jay a firm dap, accompanied by a hug. Despite both men being in their thirties, and discussing a corporate deal worth millions, the two interact on a level most familiar to them both. The older, Jewish lawyers surround the two rappers in an awkward silence, unsure as to whether or not to offer a regular handshake or a "hood greeting." Jay spares them the uncomfortable choice, and brings everyone to the table. ))
Jay: How you doin man?
Nas: I'm good man, I'm good. I been real busy all weekend, so I haven't got much sleep. Word. But I can't lie, I'm excited about this man. Real excited. Word.
Jay: We feel the same way, Nas. You're a legend and we're happy to have you on board here at Def Jam.
Nas: I appreciate that Jay.
Jay: It's Mr. Carter while we're in here.
Nas: *chuckles* Aw man, you silly.
Jay: *stern camel faced expression*
Nas: .......Word. so, what's on the agenda for today?
Jay: Today we're basically just gonna discuss your future here at Def Jam, and your new direction as an artist. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible.
Nas: Thanks. I gotta say... I was real worried about signin to Def Jam.. with, you know.. you being boss and all.
Jay: I feel the same. But we grown, ya know? We gotta move past the past, and do what's best for business.
Nas: Word. I feel that, my nigga. Word.
Jay: Don't think of me as your boss. Think of me as your friend who controls your career and writes your checks.
Nas: Word. Speakin of checks, when will I be seeing the first one?
(( The Jew layers all enter huddle and whisper amongst themselves. Jay joins the huddle, and Nas can only make out bits and pieces of what's being said. ))
Jay: *mumble mumble Ether mumble mumble*
Nas: Uh... Jay, I need--
Jay: Nas, with all due respect, I'm your boss now. I'd really appreciate it if you refer to me as Mr. Carter, or Sir.
Nas: Nigga, is you serious?
"Nigga he dead serious!" a voice cries from the hallway.
Jay: Bleek, are you finished with the carpet?
Bleek: No, J-- Mr. Carter.
Jay: If I can hear you, that means the vacuum ain't turned all the way up, right?
Bleek: *turns up the vacuum* Sorry Sir!
Jay: What?
Bleek: SORRY SIR!
Jay: Huh?
Bleek: SOOORRRYY SIIR!!
Jay: I can't hear you.
Bleek: MY BAD, LET ME TURN DOWN THE VACUUM. *Bleek lowers the vacuum power* SORRY SIR!
Jay: Sorry for what?
Bleek: SORRY FOR TALKING WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN VACUUMING!
Jay: Bleek, why are you shouting?
Bleek: I HAD THE VACUUM UP CAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO VACUUM LOUDER AND NOT TALK!
Jay: Then why are you still talking?
Bleek: *turns the vacuum back up* I'M SORRY SIR.
Jay: What?
Bleek: I SAID I'M SORRY!
Jay: Huh?
Bleek: *turns the vacuum down* I SAID I'M SORRY!
Jay: Sorry for what?
(( Nas leans over towards one of Jay's lawyers, to ask how long this will go on for. When he notices him playing a PSP role playing game with headphones on, he doesn't even bother finishing his question. Disappointed, Nas releases a heavy sigh and leans back in his chair. He begins to look around the office, tuning out the sounds of Jigga and Bleek, drifting deep into thought. ))
Man, this is a nice office. Nigga got so many plaques man... I didn't even know he did that many albums son. Word. Shit is crazy. That whole wall is a mirror, on some Enter the Dragon type shit... word. I'm really happy for dude. Damn I bet Beyonce pussy is good... .....real clean and shit. Yeah.... word.
........word.
...........................wor d.
Jay: Aight, where were we? Yes, your new direction here at Def--
Nas: Actually, we were discussing my first check. Do you wanna write it out to my--
Jay: Nas, Nas...relax. We'll get to the money soon, I promise. Let's focus on the music right now.
Nas: ........aight, word.
Jay: Now I've been a fan of your music since Illmatic, and--
Nas: I know.
Jay: ..........what?
Nas: I mean, thanks.
Jay: ..........anyway, what really sticks out to me on all your albums is.. you don't do many adlibs.
Nas: Yeah, I guess not. I just feel like the rhymes speak for theyself. Like when I write, I try to--
Jay: Yeah that's interesting. What I was thinking though is we could get Young Jeezy on a song or two... no rhymes, no pressure.. just for some adlib support.
Nas: Word? You want... Young Jeezy to do adlibs on my album?
Jay: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah.
(( All of the lawyers laugh in unison, as if this is only the 100th time they've heard that. ))
Nas: I don't know if I can go through with all this man. I mean the deal's not even final yet and you tryin to make all these changes.
Jay: Changes? No, no.. everything will be exactly the same. I'm just making some minor suggestions for improvement, that's all. We're signing Nas because we want Nas. I wouldn't sign you just to make you something you're not. Don't worry.
Nas: Word.
Jay: That's the next thing on the agenda. Your slang, your accent, it's a lil bit outdated. Instead of "word," try saying "I hea dat dere mayne."
Nas: ........what?
Jay: It's the same as "word," but with a lil' Southern twist into it.
Nas: I dunno, that's not really me man.
Jay: Maaayne.
Nas: You buggin out son.
Jay: Thooowed.
Nas: Yo, this is wack. I'm out son. Word.
(( Nas stands up from the table, and two of the lawyers each grab a shoulder and sit him back down. ))
Jay: Not so fast maaayne.
Nas: *struggles with the two lawyers" Get off me man! Let the fuck go.
Jay: I'm afraid they can't do that... not until you sign the contract.
Nas: Yo man, fuck this. I knew I couldn't trust you. Word... word, I knew it.
Jay: Trust? Trust is an illusion, Nasir. A hope of what you think a person might do, based on the vague idea of what you think you know of them.
Nas: Nigga what the fuck is you talkin about?
Jay: You are going to sign that contract.
Nas: Son, word is bond. You can't make do shit I don't wanna do.
(( Jay-Z begins to laugh maniacally, to the point where light spit starts to fly onto the lawyer next him. ))
Jay: Nas, you FOOL... all year, I've been making you do things you didn't wanna do.
Nas: The fuck is you talkin about?
(( Jay gestures at the mirrored wall to the right of Nas. One of the mirrors on the wall opens, revealing a hidden door in the room. Dame Dash steps through the door laughing uncontrollably, followed by Kelis, Beyonce, Aaliyah, Cormega, and Terry Silver from Karate Kid III. ))
Nas: What. The. Fuck.
Dame: Sup Nas.
Kelis: Heeeeey Nas. How you doooooin? haha
Nas: Honey, what's goin on? Baby, talk to me.
Kelis: Kill the lights.
(( The lights dim. Despite there being no camp fire in the room, Jay-Z' face becomes illuminated from the bottom up, with flickering light. ))
Jay: Nas... 1,644 days and 8 hours ago, you released a track over a Rakim beat, disrespecting Roc-A-Fella Records. Do you remember?
Nas: Stillmatic freestyle?
Jay: And on that day, I swore to have my revenge. We faked Babygirl's death, and I didn't show up to the funeral, to start a fake rift between me and Dame.
Nas: *looks over at Aaliyah, still alive and breathing* Wooooord?
Jay: Gradually, we fooled the public into believing Dame and I weren't seeing eye to eye, making me free to go beyond the Roc-A-Fella empire. I am everyone and I am no one. Eventually I became President of Def Jam records, in time for your contract release from Columbia.
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: Every moment of your life up to this point has been a well executed plan.
Cormega: I'm a real nigga. I'd take a bullet before snitchin, but for you, I made exceptions my nigga.
Nas: What about Kelis? *looks at his wife, hopefully and lovingly* Baby why are you here? Why didn't you warn me?!?
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: She won't answer you.
Jay: Since the Fall of 2001, I've been sexually intimate with every woman you've ever met since high school. They're all under my control.
Nas: WHAT?!?
Jay: Do you remember a young, R&B singer from your "You Owe Me" video?
Beyonce: *aiming a gun at Nas* Remember me, nigga?
Jay: After I hit that, Dame thought it would be a good idea to set you up with an inferior R&B bitch, just to underline this moment. Shout out to Dame.
(( Jay and Dame both snap their fingers and point at each other. ))
Jay: I knew that if I could get you to respond to Takeover, I could reveal my past with Carmen to the world, and that'd crush you. Do you remember the night you heard "Super Ugly," Nas? Who did you meet?
(( Nas turns to Kelis in total disbelief ))
Jay: That's right. Uh... chea. P-Pause. Do you remember bumping into Kelis at the hotel, Nas? Coincidence? She comforted your bitch ass when the whole industry was laughing at your misfortune. She gave you head and your sucker for love ass fell for her.
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: *in a mocking tone, he repeats everything Nas confessed to Kelis that night* I don't know why he hates me so much. I should have just been on Reasonable Doubt. *starts crying*
Jay: Welcome, welcome.. come on in Nas.
Nas: What up big homie. Word.
(( Nas gives Jay a firm dap, accompanied by a hug. Despite both men being in their thirties, and discussing a corporate deal worth millions, the two interact on a level most familiar to them both. The older, Jewish lawyers surround the two rappers in an awkward silence, unsure as to whether or not to offer a regular handshake or a "hood greeting." Jay spares them the uncomfortable choice, and brings everyone to the table. ))
Jay: How you doin man?
Nas: I'm good man, I'm good. I been real busy all weekend, so I haven't got much sleep. Word. But I can't lie, I'm excited about this man. Real excited. Word.
Jay: We feel the same way, Nas. You're a legend and we're happy to have you on board here at Def Jam.
Nas: I appreciate that Jay.
Jay: It's Mr. Carter while we're in here.
Nas: *chuckles* Aw man, you silly.
Jay: *stern camel faced expression*
Nas: .......Word. so, what's on the agenda for today?
Jay: Today we're basically just gonna discuss your future here at Def Jam, and your new direction as an artist. I want you to feel as comfortable as possible.
Nas: Thanks. I gotta say... I was real worried about signin to Def Jam.. with, you know.. you being boss and all.
Jay: I feel the same. But we grown, ya know? We gotta move past the past, and do what's best for business.
Nas: Word. I feel that, my nigga. Word.
Jay: Don't think of me as your boss. Think of me as your friend who controls your career and writes your checks.
Nas: Word. Speakin of checks, when will I be seeing the first one?
(( The Jew layers all enter huddle and whisper amongst themselves. Jay joins the huddle, and Nas can only make out bits and pieces of what's being said. ))
Jay: *mumble mumble Ether mumble mumble*
Nas: Uh... Jay, I need--
Jay: Nas, with all due respect, I'm your boss now. I'd really appreciate it if you refer to me as Mr. Carter, or Sir.
Nas: Nigga, is you serious?
"Nigga he dead serious!" a voice cries from the hallway.
Jay: Bleek, are you finished with the carpet?
Bleek: No, J-- Mr. Carter.
Jay: If I can hear you, that means the vacuum ain't turned all the way up, right?
Bleek: *turns up the vacuum* Sorry Sir!
Jay: What?
Bleek: SORRY SIR!
Jay: Huh?
Bleek: SOOORRRYY SIIR!!
Jay: I can't hear you.
Bleek: MY BAD, LET ME TURN DOWN THE VACUUM. *Bleek lowers the vacuum power* SORRY SIR!
Jay: Sorry for what?
Bleek: SORRY FOR TALKING WHEN I SHOULD HAVE BEEN VACUUMING!
Jay: Bleek, why are you shouting?
Bleek: I HAD THE VACUUM UP CAUSE YOU TOLD ME TO VACUUM LOUDER AND NOT TALK!
Jay: Then why are you still talking?
Bleek: *turns the vacuum back up* I'M SORRY SIR.
Jay: What?
Bleek: I SAID I'M SORRY!
Jay: Huh?
Bleek: *turns the vacuum down* I SAID I'M SORRY!
Jay: Sorry for what?
(( Nas leans over towards one of Jay's lawyers, to ask how long this will go on for. When he notices him playing a PSP role playing game with headphones on, he doesn't even bother finishing his question. Disappointed, Nas releases a heavy sigh and leans back in his chair. He begins to look around the office, tuning out the sounds of Jigga and Bleek, drifting deep into thought. ))
Man, this is a nice office. Nigga got so many plaques man... I didn't even know he did that many albums son. Word. Shit is crazy. That whole wall is a mirror, on some Enter the Dragon type shit... word. I'm really happy for dude. Damn I bet Beyonce pussy is good... .....real clean and shit. Yeah.... word.
........word.
...........................wor d.
Jay: Aight, where were we? Yes, your new direction here at Def--
Nas: Actually, we were discussing my first check. Do you wanna write it out to my--
Jay: Nas, Nas...relax. We'll get to the money soon, I promise. Let's focus on the music right now.
Nas: ........aight, word.
Jay: Now I've been a fan of your music since Illmatic, and--
Nas: I know.
Jay: ..........what?
Nas: I mean, thanks.
Jay: ..........anyway, what really sticks out to me on all your albums is.. you don't do many adlibs.
Nas: Yeah, I guess not. I just feel like the rhymes speak for theyself. Like when I write, I try to--
Jay: Yeah that's interesting. What I was thinking though is we could get Young Jeezy on a song or two... no rhymes, no pressure.. just for some adlib support.
Nas: Word? You want... Young Jeezy to do adlibs on my album?
Jay: Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeaaaaah.
(( All of the lawyers laugh in unison, as if this is only the 100th time they've heard that. ))
Nas: I don't know if I can go through with all this man. I mean the deal's not even final yet and you tryin to make all these changes.
Jay: Changes? No, no.. everything will be exactly the same. I'm just making some minor suggestions for improvement, that's all. We're signing Nas because we want Nas. I wouldn't sign you just to make you something you're not. Don't worry.
Nas: Word.
Jay: That's the next thing on the agenda. Your slang, your accent, it's a lil bit outdated. Instead of "word," try saying "I hea dat dere mayne."
Nas: ........what?
Jay: It's the same as "word," but with a lil' Southern twist into it.
Nas: I dunno, that's not really me man.
Jay: Maaayne.
Nas: You buggin out son.
Jay: Thooowed.
Nas: Yo, this is wack. I'm out son. Word.
(( Nas stands up from the table, and two of the lawyers each grab a shoulder and sit him back down. ))
Jay: Not so fast maaayne.
Nas: *struggles with the two lawyers" Get off me man! Let the fuck go.
Jay: I'm afraid they can't do that... not until you sign the contract.
Nas: Yo man, fuck this. I knew I couldn't trust you. Word... word, I knew it.
Jay: Trust? Trust is an illusion, Nasir. A hope of what you think a person might do, based on the vague idea of what you think you know of them.
Nas: Nigga what the fuck is you talkin about?
Jay: You are going to sign that contract.
Nas: Son, word is bond. You can't make do shit I don't wanna do.
(( Jay-Z begins to laugh maniacally, to the point where light spit starts to fly onto the lawyer next him. ))
Jay: Nas, you FOOL... all year, I've been making you do things you didn't wanna do.
Nas: The fuck is you talkin about?
(( Jay gestures at the mirrored wall to the right of Nas. One of the mirrors on the wall opens, revealing a hidden door in the room. Dame Dash steps through the door laughing uncontrollably, followed by Kelis, Beyonce, Aaliyah, Cormega, and Terry Silver from Karate Kid III. ))
Nas: What. The. Fuck.
Dame: Sup Nas.
Kelis: Heeeeey Nas. How you doooooin? haha
Nas: Honey, what's goin on? Baby, talk to me.
Kelis: Kill the lights.
(( The lights dim. Despite there being no camp fire in the room, Jay-Z' face becomes illuminated from the bottom up, with flickering light. ))
Jay: Nas... 1,644 days and 8 hours ago, you released a track over a Rakim beat, disrespecting Roc-A-Fella Records. Do you remember?
Nas: Stillmatic freestyle?
Jay: And on that day, I swore to have my revenge. We faked Babygirl's death, and I didn't show up to the funeral, to start a fake rift between me and Dame.
Nas: *looks over at Aaliyah, still alive and breathing* Wooooord?
Jay: Gradually, we fooled the public into believing Dame and I weren't seeing eye to eye, making me free to go beyond the Roc-A-Fella empire. I am everyone and I am no one. Eventually I became President of Def Jam records, in time for your contract release from Columbia.
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: Every moment of your life up to this point has been a well executed plan.
Cormega: I'm a real nigga. I'd take a bullet before snitchin, but for you, I made exceptions my nigga.
Nas: What about Kelis? *looks at his wife, hopefully and lovingly* Baby why are you here? Why didn't you warn me?!?
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: She won't answer you.
Jay: Since the Fall of 2001, I've been sexually intimate with every woman you've ever met since high school. They're all under my control.
Nas: WHAT?!?
Jay: Do you remember a young, R&B singer from your "You Owe Me" video?
Beyonce: *aiming a gun at Nas* Remember me, nigga?
Jay: After I hit that, Dame thought it would be a good idea to set you up with an inferior R&B bitch, just to underline this moment. Shout out to Dame.
(( Jay and Dame both snap their fingers and point at each other. ))
Jay: I knew that if I could get you to respond to Takeover, I could reveal my past with Carmen to the world, and that'd crush you. Do you remember the night you heard "Super Ugly," Nas? Who did you meet?
(( Nas turns to Kelis in total disbelief ))
Jay: That's right. Uh... chea. P-Pause. Do you remember bumping into Kelis at the hotel, Nas? Coincidence? She comforted your bitch ass when the whole industry was laughing at your misfortune. She gave you head and your sucker for love ass fell for her.
Terry Silver from Karate Kid III: *in a mocking tone, he repeats everything Nas confessed to Kelis that night* I don't know why he hates me so much. I should have just been on Reasonable Doubt. *starts crying*