The best quotes from a film.

[psychicjew]

i love crap horror films nothing beats a bit of rats night of terror which i got yesturday .....the best line in the whole film "i love video games ....never played one though"

[tomo1811]

yeh fozzo

[BazHilder]

"I'm giving serious consideration....to eating your wife" Anthony Hopkins, Hannibal.

[psychicjew]

hey tomo1811 stop calling me fozzo...what does it even mean

[Paul B]

"The name's Gibbons...Augustus Gibbons" :p

xXx

[Gary G]

"Surely you can't be serious?"
"I am serious, and don't call me Shirley"

[mutu]

hey tomo1811 stop calling me fozzo...what does it even mean
im guessing something to do with you name :rolleyes:



pulp fiction: "well let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet"
delivered with such finesse :D

infact you could post the entire script of that film and call it the list of best film quotes ever

[ChelseaDave]

anything the drill sargeant in full metal jacket says is always a good quote.

[Spike]

infact you could post the entire script of that film and call it the list of best film quotes ever

Agreed.

My fave

Jules - "What country do you come from?"

Brett (or is it Brad) -"what?"

J - " "what" aint no country I ever heard of...they speak English in what?"

B - "what?"

J - "English motherfucker, do you speak it?"

B - "what?"

J - "Say what again, I dare you motherfucker, say what one more goddam time"

[BazHilder]

Yeah I wanted to use one from Pulp Fiction too but I couldn't pick a favourite.

"and I will strike down on thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I can't remember the rest though.

Lock Stock has some great lines too.

[mutu]

i cant believe you quoted that without carrying it on! its got to be one of the best bits of the film

J: What does Marcellus Wallace look like?
B: what?
J: say what again. I double dare you motherfucker say what one more goddamn time
B: hes b,b,black ......
J: go on .....
B: hes bald .......
J: does he look like a bitch?
B: what?
*Jules shoots brett in the shoulder*
J: DOES HE LOOK LIKE A BITCH!
B: NO
J: then why you trying to fuck him like a bitch brett?
B: i didnt!
J: yes you did brett - you tried to fuck him, and marcellus wallace dont like to be fucked by anybody, except mrs. wallace.

:D

nice to see you here spike, and quality quote picking there

you clearly have good taste :)

[Gary G]

"and I will strike down on thee with great vengeance and furious anger..." I can't remember the rest though.

Jules: The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee.

Another part I like is:

Jules: Fuck, ******, what did you do to his towel?
Vincent: I was dryin' my hands.
Jules: You're supposed to wash 'em first.
Vincent: You watched me wash 'em.
Jules: I watched you get 'em wet.
Vincent: I washed 'em. This shit's hard to get off. Maybe if I had Lava or something, I coulda done a better job.
Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no god-damn Maxi-Pad.

[BazHilder]

That's it! on the tip of my tongue. What a great film.

[biker_jim_uk]

'funky buttlovin'
'did he just say funky buttlovin'?

[Spike]

nice to see you here spike, and quality quote picking there

you clearly have good taste :)

Thanks :)

Another of my favourites..

Vince - "I'm just saying, it's dangerous to have a racecar in the red"
Jules - "Oh your a race car in the red?"
V - "yeah"
J - "Well I'm a mushroom cloud laying motherfucker motherfucker"

etc etc. Pulp Fiction must be the most quotable film of all time.
With Blazing Saddles a close second.

"A man drink like that and he dont eat...he is going to die"
"When?"

[-=[101st]=-]

Goldmember:

Dr Evil - Scotty's on fire!!!

Goldmember - coz i like gold!!!

Dr Evil - how bout no!!! you crazy dutch bastard...

No 2 - his farja dr evil..

and a follow up line...

Dr Evil - ohh... his farTHER...

Goldmember - i have a dutch accent thats not weird

Goldmember - i'm dutch isn't that veird???

[Jonny Wilkinson]

Braveheart
William Wallace - "FREEDOM!"

[Mambo]

Merv from the Matrix "French is my favourite language to curse with... it's like wiping your arse with silk"

[tomo1811]

im guessing something to do with you name :rolleyes:



pulp fiction: "well let's not start sucking each other's dicks just yet"
delivered with such finesse :D

infact you could post the entire script of that film and call it the list of best film quotes ever
his name is robert forester, he goes to my school!! oh any by chance collects crap horror films

[tomo1811]

my favourite quote ' and while youre at it why dont you take a big steam piss up on that power line. Look im not here to twist ya nibblets, im here to save your life'

me myself and irene its hilarious!! pmsl hank

[nath_scfc]

italian job - the good one
"your only supposed 2 blow the bloody doors off" Top notch

[speo5]

'Heres Johnny'
The Shining

[Foxhound]

the thing that they hate the most are poser

"yeah i hate them too"
they mean u
"i'm not a poser i have a p.h.d. a Poser Hater Degree"

b-rad from malibu most wanted/hated

[Travis Bickle]

"nice move Tony, d'ya make that one up?"
"Yeah, well I saw it on TV first then I made it up."

"will you just watch the hair. Ya know, I spend a long time on my hair and he hit it; he hit my hair."

"Four dollars? You know what four dollars buys today? It don't even buy three dollars."

"You make it with some of these chicks, they think you gotta dance with them."

-Saturday Night Fever Best (disco) Film ever made.


"Whats a Mook?" - Mean Streets

[Foxhound]

I like this one

"you're the man"
"you're the woman"

head of state

[stevieboy]

2 From my fave comedy, "The big Lebowski":

Dude: "He's got emotional problems, man."
Walter:"You mean... beyond pacifism?"

And the message left on Dude's ansaphone, something like:

"One of your team-members drew a firearm during league play. This constitutes a breach of several of our rules..."

Class!

[Jonny2J]

pretty much anything recited by Don Vito Corleone or Tony Montana

[stevieboy]

3 more from Lebowski:

"Nobody fu@ks with the Jesus"

Bunny: "I'll suck your cock for a thousand dollars"
Dude: ..."I'm gonna go find a cash machine..."

"D'ya think the rug-pissers did this?"

:D :cool: :D

[tomo1811]

american pie 3

finch:granmother fucker
stiffler:mother fucker
finch:yes i am:D

[MikeyM]

From Bad Boys:

Mike Lowry (Will Smith) "I need to jump right over this car and smack you upside your peasy ass head, that's what I need to do!"

Storekeeper "You want badges motherbitch, I give you badges!"
(Lowry and Burnett pull guns)
Storekeeper "Sh*t I'm fu*ked!"
Lowry : "Now back up, put the gun down and give us a pack of some tropical fruit bubbalicious"
Burnett : "And some skittles".


Snatch : (from memory - might not be 100%)

Tony "And the fact you're standing there with guns that say replica down the side" (camera shows their guns) "And mine says Desert Eagle point 5 - 0 (camera shows Tony's gun) "should precipitate your swift exit from this situation" (takes a sip of his pint) Now f*ck off!"


Reservoir Dogs: (The cafe scene at the beginning, mr Blue has been thumbing through an old address book, muttering to himself - Mr Brown has been talking about Madonna. Mr White hears Mr Blue's muttering and angrily grabs the book;

Blue "Hey that's my book"
White: "For the last fifteen minutes I've had to listen to you ; Tobi, Tobi, Tobi Hong, Tobi Wong - fu*king Charlie Chan! - I've got Madonna's big dick coming outta my right ear and f*ck knows what outta my left!

And to end, the classic from my Childhood - Batman;

Thug on rooftop (Batman has him by the throat) "Who are you?"
Batman pulls him closer "I'm Batman!"



Mike.

[L . F . C]

Terminator:
Ill be back!

Bad Boys:

Mike Lowry (Will Smith) "I need to jump right over this car and smack you upside your peasy ass head, that's what I need to do!"

[wixon]

pulp fiction:
"you know what they call...a quarter pounder with cheese in Paris?" "what?" "a royale with cheese"

training day:

"I run shit round here, you just live here. I'm the police. King kong ain't got shit on me"

[Alvin]

Tomo, whose name is Robert Forester?

[tomo1811]

psyhcic jew, he was a kid from my school messing about to wind me up!! hes sad ignore him!! at least hes been banned

[MikeyM]

Some more I got;

Die Hard 3 (With a Vengeance)

Simon Gruber : "Said Simple Simon to the pieman going to the fair, give me your pies ... or I'll cave your head in :D "

Terminator II : T800 "Hasta la vista baby"

Die Hard ;

Han's Gruber : "What was it? ah yes .. Yippe kay yay motherfu*ker!"


Hot Shots ;

"Pyrex pickle blowfish you are cleared for landing"
"er copy that yankee doodle floppydisk"


Mike.

[Mambo]

My favourite quote:

"It appears the upperhand is on the other foot"
Hotshots Part Deux

[tomo1811]

oceans 11

have i complied with your every request
yes
may have 1 of my own
sure
run and hide ass hole, run and hide

[Lisbon67Seville03]

oceans 11

have i complied with your every request
yes
may have 1 of my own
sure
run and hide ass hole, run and hide
no one has said anything for a while, weird.

Anyway, best moment from Ocean's 11 cuz it proves Mr. Pitt is the best actor around even when he isnt doing anything:
"that makes ten. you think we need one more?
silence
"you think we need one more?"
more silence
"alright, we'll get one more."

and from one of the best movies ever:
"Do you like apples?"
"yeah, i guess"
"well i got her number, how do you like them apples?"

[-=[101st]=-]

and from one of the best movies ever:
"Do you like apples?"
"yeah, i guess"
"well i got her number, how do you like them apples?"

yes that quote is awesome..

[Lisbon67Seville03]

=-']yes that quote is awesome..
i was talking to a movie "fan" the other day who said it was one of the most over-rated movies ever. BULLSH*T!!! What a film!?!? the "its not your fault" scene always gets me right here, pounding heart.

[tomo1811]

what the film abt

[dream team]

robin hood prince of theves

" To the Trees"

[markanddawn]

lock stock and two smoking barrells

"its a deal, its a steal, its the sale of the f*cking century"

Cant think of the guys name but it when he's talking to 'nick the greek' right at the start of the film.

excellent line!

[dream team]

yes that is a great quote but i think that the whole scene is great full of quotes like when he says
u get a gold plated rolls royces if u pay for it
its tom thats says it. real name Jason Flemyng

[markanddawn]

thats the one!

[Lisbon67Seville03]

what the film abt
Good Will Hunting is about a working class 20 year-old with a traumatic child-hood whose defense mechanisms are in his photographic memory, by criticising and feeling smarter than those around him he feels better. He is unimaginably intelligent, solving mathematic problems plaguing university professors for decades in minutes. One professor, who recieved a Fields Medal, wants to share that gift with the world. His therapist wants what is best for Will. Stunningly protrayed by Gus Van Sant, well acted by Matt Damon, Robin Williams and the rest. Brilliant film with nice, mellow music.

[ChelseaDave]

"See you you fu**ing c**t, ill cut you first" from football factory. :)

[tomo1811]

austin powers :goldmember

MOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLLE

[Zero]

"I used the same soap you did and when I dried my hands, the towel didn't look like a fuckin' Maxie pad." Jules in Pulp Fiction, that one always makes me laugh.

[Travis Bickle]

"You know what they say, you love a mans garden you gotta love the man"

[Travis Bickle]

one point twenty one jigawatts !!!!!!!!!

[rebusrahman]

Where do those stairs go?
Up!

and

Listen! Can you smell that?

[Harry-Kewell]

"...Bond. James Bond."

"You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? You talkin' to me? Well, who the hell else are you talkin' to? You talkin' to me? Well, I'm the only one here. Who the f--k do you think you're talkin' to?"

"I'll be back."

"But, I'm funny how? Funny like a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to f--kin' amuse you?"

[Lisbon67Seville03]

Where do those stairs go?
Up!

and

Listen! Can you smell that?
ghostbusters, absolutely terrific. Dan Akroyd is hilarious.

[razor]

ill kill you you coakroach - scarface
i cant believe no0ones mentioned it

[tomo1811]

1 of my favourite quotes wasnt from a film but from friends

joey:do i look 19 or what!?!
chandler: on a scale of 1 - 10. 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definetly 19.

and..........

ross: and tht why we celebarate hannaka today. THE END
Chandler: my favourite part was when superman flew all the jews outta egypt
ross: the armadilo wasnt so thrilled about tht part

[Lisbon67Seville03]

1 of my favourite quotes wasnt from a film but from friends

joey:do i look 19 or what!?!
chandler: on a scale of 1 - 10. 10 being the dumbest a person can look, you are definetly 19.

and..........

ross: and tht why we celebarate hannaka today. THE END
Chandler: my favourite part was when superman flew all the jews outta egypt
ross: the armadilo wasnt so thrilled about tht part
I can handle that. handle's my middle name. Actually, its the middle part of my first name.

[Mambo]

I can handle that. handle's my middle name. Actually, its the middle part of my first name.

That's my favourite Chandler line too. Pure genius...

[Onbail]

Heres mine:
Turkish: What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what . . . zee Germans?

[Foxhound]

"we stand alone together" from Band of Brothers

[-=[101st]=-]

love the friends quote tomo...

[elfinke]

Where do those stairs go? They go up.

Ooooh yeah, it doesn't get better then that!

Also, you should recognise this one...

"Hello!...........

"WIIIIINSTON!!!"

Bwahahahaahahahh at that one from number 2, always cracks me up...

[(S)AINT]

Goodfellas:

Henry Hill: [narrating] You know, we always called each other goodfellas. Like, you'd say to somebody: "You're gonna like this guy; he's all right. He's a goodfella. He's one of us." You understand? We were goodfellas, wiseguys.

Scarface:

"Say 'ello to my little friend!"

The Rules Of Attraction:

"I leave you alone for five minutes, and you're drinking."
"Drunk. I'm drunk."

"Do you have any E?"
"That shit makes your spinal fluid run backwards."

[gollan]

"My name is Tony Montana.
All I got in this world is my word, and my balls". - Paccino, Scarface

the pork chops quote from Pulp Fiction is my fave from that movie

my favorite though is Reservoir Dogs - the color choosing dialogue. hillarious.

[emoevo]

i have 2

chuckys bride
"its not the size that counts asshole its what you do with it"

good will hunting
"But you know what
the best part of my day is? The ten
seconds before I knock on the door
'cause I let myself think I might get
there, and you'd be gone. I'd knock
on the door and you wouldn't be there.
You just left."

[Spike]

Who can forget the classic that is Commando?

"I like listening to your little pissant soldiers trying to sound macho. They make me laugh. If Matrix was here, he'd laugh too".

The whole "I have to remind you Sulley, this is my weak arm" bit.

(Girl asks Arnie what's going on, he has just kidnapped her (sort of) and taken her car) *Arnie*"A man I've known for years wants me dead" *Girl*"Thats understandable, I've known you 5 minutes and I want you dead too".

[jMz]

Apocalypse Now
Kurtz(Brando): It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face, and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared.

Full Metal Jacket
Drill Sargeant: ".....I will gouge out your eyes and skull-fuck you....."

Drill Sargeant: "How tall are you son?" answers "God damn it, I didn't know they could pile shit that high."

and on a lighter note....

Hot Shots 2
Topper Harley: "President Benson."
President Benson: "No you're not. He's an older guy, about my height."

Goodfellas
Tommy Devito (Pesci): "You think I'm funny? Like, funny how? Like a fuckin' clown? I'm here to fucking amuse you? What the fuck is so funny?"

Henry Hill (voice-over): "Anything I wanted was a phone call away. Free cars. The keys to a dozen hideout flats all over the city. I bet twenty, thirty grand over a weekend and then I'd either blow the winnings in a week or go to the sharks to pay back the bookies."

[jMz]

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
If you haven't seen it, this is the opening to the film. Watch it. I don't take (hard)drugs, but I think it's a great fucking movie.

DUKE (Depp Voice over):
We were somewhere around Barstow on
the edge of the desert when the
drugs began to take hold.
I remember saying something like:
"I feel a bit lightheaded. Maybe
you should drive..."
Suddenly there was a terrible roar
all around us and the sky was full
of what looked like huge bats, all
swooping and screeching and diving
around the car...
... and a voice was screaming: Holy
Jesus! What are these goddamn
animals?
GONZO (Del Toro):
What are you yelling about?
DUKE:
Never mind. It's your turn to drive.

DUKE (V/O):
No point mentioning these bats. I
thought. The poor bastard will see
them soon enough.

[Jonny2J]

the scene in True Romance, when Christian Slater's dads about to get popped off by Walken

[Ogopa Djz]

"the greatest trick the devil ever pulled was making the world believe he didnt exist... and like that he dissapeared" This was the ending to usual suspects (great movie) when the detective figured out who keyser soze was.

[lucy]

"i have a plan, using mainly spoons..."

[larsson]

Snatch, gotta love it :cool: :

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? Whats wrong with that spot?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that!


Vinny: I thought you said he was a getaway driver. What the fuck can he get away from?


Bullet Tooth Tony: There are two kinds of balls in this world. There are the big brave balls and then there are the little mincey faggot balls.


Avi: Fish, chips, cup o' tea, bad food, worse weather, Mary-fucking-Poppins London!

[MikeyM]

Snatch;


Turkish : We've lost gorgeous george.

Bricktop: What do you mean lost him, it aint as though he's a set of f*cking car keys! And it ain't as though he's f*cking inconspicous now is it!



Mike.

[stevieboy]

Well, from Fahrenheit 911

"There's an old saying in Tennesse, well it's in Texas so I guess it's in Tennesse. Fool me once... eh... uh...eh... shame on you... eh... eh... uh... eh... fool me twice, you eh... won't fool me again." -George W. Bush

[Lami]

"I'll be back...." - Arnold

[o0oGedo0o]

"to be or not to be that is the question" Arnold playing that character in last action hero playing hamlet :p

[the_rat]

bloke1 "Is he a bitch"
bloke crapping himself "What"
Bloke1: "say what again i dare you"
bloke crapping himself "What"
bloke1 [shoots him]

pulp fiction

[Ryder Style]

my sig :D

[Travis Bickle]

"I don't care if he's Muhammad "I'm hard" Bruce Lee, you can't change fighters."

[robz18]

"you dont need to tell me how good my coffee is ok, im the one who buyz it, i know how good it is"

"quinton tarrentino" "pulp fiction"

[robz18]

"sewer rat might taste like pumpkin pie, but i aint gonna eat it"
"samuel L.jackson" "pulp fiction"

and the whole conversation in resevoir doggs about tippin the waitress... well fukin funny:D

[jMz]

Sexy Beast. Class film, not very popular but should be. Find it!
Gal (Ray Winstone): "Sorry Don, but I'll have to turn this opportunity down."
Don (Ben Kingsley): "No, you'll just have to turn this opportunity YES!"
Gal: "No Don."
Don: "YES YES YES YES YES YES!"

Don: (talks to mirror while shaving): "Do they think your some kind of caaant?"
Don: (answering himself): "It's alright mate, I'm here."
Runs into bedroom where Gal is sleeping.
Don: (Punches Gal while he sleeps, drags him out of bed): "GET UP YOU LAZY CAAANT!"

Don is the perfect house guest. You must see this film!!

[jMz]

Chronicles of Riddick (Baddest MoFo around)
"You're not afraid of the dark are you"

[Chuck Morris]

Neil: "What am i doing? I'm talking to an empty telephone"

Van Zant: "I don't understand?"

Neil: "Coz there is a dead man on the other end of this fuckin line!"

...Heat

[svendust]

some bloke - ''Her breasts aren't real''

Hal - ''I can squeeze em, thats real enough for me''

From shallow hal

[Darth Daft]

Sexy Beast. Class film, not very popular but should be. Find it!
Gal (Ray Winstone): "Sorry Don, but I'll have to turn this opportunity down."
Don (Ben Kingsley): "No, you'll just have to turn this opportunity YES!"
Gal: "No Don."
Don: "YES YES YES YES YES YES!"

Don: (talks to mirror while shaving): "Do they think your some kind of caaant?"
Don: (answering himself): "It's alright mate, I'm here."
Runs into bedroom where Gal is sleeping.
Don: (Punches Gal while he sleeps, drags him out of bed): "GET UP YOU LAZY CAAANT!"

Don is the perfect house guest. You must see this film!!

agreed,

"do it"

"i wont"

"you will"

"i cant don"

"fat cunt, say you'll do it"

"i cant"

"you will, youre Mr Rowntree"

"no don"

"YES ROWNTREE"

http://www.ngz-online.de/image/06/mm465b0d22cda89406.jpeg

do not ask this man to observe no smoking signs

[stevieboy]

It's a hell of a thing, killing a man.
You take away all he's got... and all he's ever gonna have.

[Travis Bickle]

"But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying. It's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos."


"Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you.
Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting.
Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin.
We could make a fucking suitcase out of you.
Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard.
You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? State of you!
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?"

[jMz]

"But quite frankly your attitude appalls me. It's not what you're saying. It's all this stuff you're not saying. Insinnuendos."


"Shut up, cunt. You louse. You got some fuckin' neck ain't you.
Retired? Fuck off, you're revolting.
Look at your suntan, it's leather, it's like leather man, your skin.
We could make a fucking suitcase out of you.
Like a crocodile, fat crocodile, fat bastard.
You look like fucking Idi Amin, you know what I mean? State of you!
You should be ashamed of yourself.
Who do you think you are? King of the castle? Cock of the walk?"

http://www.fakes.net/sexybeast4.jpg
I fucking love this shit man!
Lovely bloke, that Don.

Don: You're the problem! You're the fucking problem you fucking Dr White honkin' jam-rag fucking spunk-bubble! I'm telling you Aitch you keep looking at me I'll put you in the fucking ground, promise you!

I'm so glad other people have seen this film.

To finish my post, here's another of my faves from Pulp Fiction.
After car is cleaned
Wolf "Well, let's not start suckin' each others dicks just yet."

[jMz]

Found some more, my last Sexy Beast quote. (To continue from Travis Bickles) It's getting stale now I know.

Don: What you think this is the wheel of fortune? You think you can make your dough and fuck off? Leave the table? Thanks Don, see you Don, off to sunny Spain now Don, fuck off Don. Lying in your pool like a fat blob laughing at me, you think I'm gonna have that? You really think I'm gonna have that, ya ponce. All right, I'll make it easy for you. God knows you're fucking trying. Are you gonna do the job? It's not a difficult question, are you gonna do the job, yes or no?

[50!]

Someone mentioned this earlier in the thread its my fav....

Storekeeper "You want badges motherbitch, I give you badges!"
(Lowry and Burnett pull guns)
Storekeeper "Sh*t I'm fu*ked!"
Lowry : "Now back up, put the gun down and give us a pack of some tropical fruit bubbalicious"
Burnett : "And some skittles".

The underlined bit is the funniest

This was the best in I-Robot

~Sneeze~
Sorry I'm allergic to bullshit

[jMz]

Some quotes from my favourite character in a film ever. (I think he manages Newcastle aswell......)
Hot Shots.

Admiral Benson: My eyes are ceramic. Caught a bazooka round at Little Big Horn. Or was it Okinawa? The one without the Indians.

[Admiral Benson comes into the briefing room in riding pants]
Admiral Benson: Be seated! Ah... Many of you are wondering what's wrong with my pants, well they started running short on materials right before they got to the knees so don't give me any shit. Ah. I look out there on all you wonderful guys and I say to myself "What I wouldn't give to be 20 years younger... and a woman". You know, I've personally flown over 194 missions and I was shot down on every one. Come to think of it, I've never landed a plane in my life.

Lt. Commander Block: Every aerial photo and recon report indicate a defensive arsenal in the D, and perhaps negative C, categories. There's also some anti-aircraft squadrons. They can send up an ack-ack umbrella high enough to make any attack ineffective.
Admiral Benson: I don't have a clue what you're talkin' about, Phil. Not a fucking clue. I have a shell the size of a fist in my head. Pork Chop Hill. The only way I can make this goddamn toupee to stay on is by magnetizing the entire upper left quadrant of my skull, so you just go ahead and do what you do.

[Jets start their engines]
Admiral Benson: God, that's loud. My ear canals are very sensitive. They're stainless steel. Took a bullet in Corregidor. Passed straight through.
[air controller gets his earplugs out]
Air Controller: We have these to hold down the sound, sir.
Admiral Benson: Oh, good. Thanks.
[swallows the earplugs]
Admiral Benson: Let's hope they do the trick.

Admiral Benson: Gentlemen, we've waited a long time to hear this. In exactly five hours and 17 minutes, we hit the enemy toast.
Lt. Commander Block: I think that's the enemy coast, sir.
Admiral Benson: Huh? Coast? That'll take a little more planning. But it doesn't matter. Our assignment is to knock out the nuclear-weapons plant at Falafel Heights. The plant goes on line in 12 hours and is heavily defended. Now, if you have trouble hitting your objective, you secondary targets are here and here: an accordion factory and a mime school. Good luck, gentlemen. Blink, take over. Oh, there's one more thing. (admiral gets accidentally hit by a metal pipe with a loud ringing sound). I'll get that. It's probably for me.

[qwerty12]

Where are we going?

Mexico.

Whats in Mexico?

Mexicans.

From Dusk till Dawn.

[jMz]

Shooter: Stay out of my way, or you'll pay. Listen to what I say.
Happy Gilmore: Yeah, why don't I go eat some hay. I can make things out of clay, or lay by the bay, I just may. Whaddya say?

-------

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Happy Gilmore: [laughing] you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?
Shooter: No... I...

-------
Happy Gilmore: I'm stupid. You're smart. I was wrong. You were right. You're the best. I'm the wrost. You're very good-looking. I'm not very attractive.
Chubbs: OK, as long as you're willing to admit that now.

[qwerty12]

Dirty Harry (1971)

Asked how he established "intent to rape" before shooting some guy, he snarls: "When a man's chasing a woman through an alley with a butcher's knife and a hard-on, I figure he isn't out collecting for the Red Cross."

[qwerty12]

Rambo, First Blood (1982)

He was just a mentally frail Vietnam veteran trying to make his way back into the freakin' world - but they had to go and push him, didn't they? "I only wanted something to eat," says Rambo, hauled in for vagrancy and hosed down in the smalltown cells before escaping and going native in the 'Nammish woods. Proceeds to chow down on "things that'd make a billy goat puke". Classic. TFM.

[jMz]

Drug video Narrator : Know your dope fiend. Your life may depend on it. You won't be able to see his eyes from tea shades, and his knuckles will be white from inner-tension, and, his pants will be crusted with semen from constantly jacking-off when he can't find a rape victim.

-----

Raoul Duke : I wouldn't dare go to sleep with you wandering around with a head full of acid, wanting to slice me up with that goddamn knife.
Dr. Gonzo : Who said anything about slicing you up, man. I just wanted to cut a little Z in your forehead."

-----

Raoul Duke : Soon we would both be completely twisted. But there was no going back - We would have to ride it out.

-----

Raoul Duke : Let's get down to brass tacks. How much for the ape?

-----

Raoul Duke : How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?

-----

Raoul Duke : We had two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a saltshaker half-full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of uppers, downers, laughers, screamers... Also, a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of beer, a pint of raw ether, and two dozen amyls. Not that we needed all that for the trip, but once you get into a serious drug collection, the tendency is to push it as far as you can. The only thing that really worried me was the ether. There is nothing in the world more helpless and irresponsible and depraved than a man in the depths of an ether binge, and I knew we'd get into that rotten stuff pretty soon.

[7RONALDO7]

Well its not a film but:

Family Guy!!

Quagmire:" How Old Are You?"

Little Girl:"...er.....16"

Quagmire:" 18!!!"

Little Girl:" Mom!!!!!"

Quagmire:" I Like Where This Is Going!!!!"

It's very funny, but it doesn't come across as good when you type it.!!

[jMz]

Clifford Worley : I haven't seen Clarence.
Coccotti : You see that?
[Holding a clenched fist, then striking Clifford]
Coccotti : That smarts, doesn't it? Getting slammed in the nose. Fucks you all up. You get that pain shootin' through your brain, your eyes fill up with water. That ain't any kind of fun, but what I have to offer you, that's as good as it's gonna get. And it won't ever get that good again. We talked to your neighbors. They saw a Cadillac. Purple Cadillac. Clarence's purple Cadillac, parked in front of your trailer yesterday. Mr. Worley, you seen your son?

-----

Clifford Worley : You're Sicilian, huh?
Coccotti : Yeah, Sicilian.
Clifford Worley : Ya know, I read a lot. Especially about things... about history. I find that shit fascinating. Here's a fact I don't know whether you know or not. Sicilians were spawned by niggers.
Coccotti : Come again?
Clifford Worley : It's a fact. Yeah. You see, uh, Sicilians have, uh, black blood pumpin' through their hearts. Hey, no, if eh, if eh, if you don't believe me, uh, you can look it up. Hundreds and hundreds of years ago, uh, you see, uh, the Moors conquered Sicily. And the Moors are niggers.
Coccotti : Yes...
Clifford Worley : So you see, way back then, uh, Sicilians were like, uh, wops from Northern Italy. Ah, they all had blonde hair and blue eyes, but, uh, well, then the Moors moved in there, and uh, well, they changed the whole country. They did so much fuckin' with Sicilian women, huh? That they changed the whole bloodline forever. That's why blonde hair and blue eyes became black hair and dark skin. You know, it's absolutely amazing to me to think that to this day, hundreds of years later, that, uh, that Sicilians still carry that nigger gene. Now this...
[Coccotti busts out laughing]
Clifford Worley : No, I'm, no, I'm quoting... history. It's written. It's a fact, it's written.
Coccotti : [Laughing] I love this guy.
Clifford Worley : Your ancestors are niggers. Uh-huh.
[Starts laughing, too]
Clifford Worley : Hey. Yeah. And, and your great-great-great-great grandmother fucked a nigger, ho, ho, yeah, and she had a half-nigger kid... now, if that's a fact, tell me, am I lying? 'Cause you, you're part eggplant.

[JefferS]

Raoul Duke : How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
Jmzy was that not one of the strangest films ever but its a classic film and entertaining from start to finish this is the best scene in the whole film they pick up a paronoid guy in the desert while there drugged up the guy is the head off spidermans actor it probably is him :cool:

[qwerty12]

Jmz likes Quinton!

[carmelo88]

say hello to my little friend
from scarface

[jMz]

Raoul Duke : How long could we maintain? I wondered. How long until one of us starts raving and jabbering at this boy? What will he think then? This same lonely desert was the last known home of the Manson family; will he make that grim connection when my attorney starts screaming about bats and huge manta rays coming down on the car? If so, well, we'll just have to cut his head off and bury him somewhere, 'cause it goes without saying that we can't turn him loose. He'd report us at once to some kind of outback Nazi law enforcement agency and they'll run us down like dogs. Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?
Jmzy was that not one of the strangest films ever but its a classic film and entertaining from start to finish this is the best scene in the whole film they pick up a paronoid guy in the desert while there drugged up the guy is the head off spidermans actor it probably is him :cool:
It is spiderman! Tobey Maguire! And it is one of my fave films, just class filmotography (I like silly things like that)

Jmz likes Quinton!
I do mate, I like many films (hopefully a future career venture)
I go to IMDB for the quotes (to make sure I don't get them wrong) But I know what I'm looking for before I go there.
This is probably my fave thread.

[qwerty12]

This probably my favourite thread aswell. I just spent ten minutes typing a scene from Jaws and my internet connection went!

[qwerty12]

Mad max (1979)

Max shackles The Kid to an about-to-explode car.

Max: "The chain in those handcuffs is high-tensile steel. It'd take you ten minutes to hack through it with this. Now you could hack through your ankle in five minutes..."

Drops hacksaw. Saunters away.

[jMz]

This probably my favourite thread aswell. I just spent ten minutes typing a scene from Jaws and my internet connection went!
That's why I normally cut and paste them. That happens only when you are doing something that took ages... The law of the sod.

[qwerty12]

Cut and Paste. Now theres an idea...

[Gun_Runner]

theres a lot of good quotes from Scarface IMO

[jMz]

Cut and Paste. Now theres an idea...
Saves a lot of time, and prevents any errors.

[Lami]

Bruce Willis: "My parents got me a chicken to hop on"

[luke909]

Dog Day Afternoon,

when negotationing about the release of hostages from the bank

Sonny(pacino): Kiss me.
Det. Sgt. Eugene Moretti: What?
Sonny: When I'm getting fucked, I like to be kissed

[jMz]

theres a lot of good quotes from Scarface IMO
Like these...
Tony Montana : I never fucked anybody over in my life didn't have it coming to them. You got that? All I have in this world is my balls and my word and I don't break them for no one. Do you understand? That piece of shit up there, I never liked him, I never trusted him. For all I know he had me set up and had my friend Angel Fernandez killed. But that's history. I'm here, he's not. Do you wanna go on with me, you say it. You don't, then you make a move.

-----

Tony Montana : Is this it? That's what it's all about, Manny? Eating, drinking, fucking, sucking? Snorting? Then what? You're 50. You got a bag for a belly. You got tits, you need a bra. They got hair on them. You got a liver, they got spots on it, and you're eating this fuckin' shit, looking like these rich fucking mummies in here... Look at that. A junkie. I got a fuckin' junkie for a wife. She don't eat nothing. Sleeps all day with them black shades on. Wakes up with a Quaalude, and who won't fuck me 'cause she's in a coma. I can't even have a kid with her, Manny. Her womb is so polluted, I can't even have a fuckin' little baby with her!

-----

Tony Montana : Hey, Frank, you're a piece of shit.
Frank Lopez : What are you talking about?
Tony Montana : You know what I'm taking about about, you fucking cockroach.

-----

Frank Lopez : Tony, don't kill me, please!
Tony Montana : I ain't gonna kill you.
Frank Lopez : Oh Christ, thank you! Thank you!
[Tony looks at Manny]
Tony Montana : Manolo, shoot that piece of shit!

[qwerty12]

Repo Man

"Look at 'em. Ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em.

[Lami]

Tony Montana : Hey, Frank, you're a piece of shit.
Frank Lopez : What are you talking about?
Tony Montana : You know what I'm talking about, you fucking cockroach.

-----

Frank Lopez : Tony, don't kill me, please!
Tony Montana : I ain't gonna kill you.
Frank Lopez : Oh Christ, thank you! Thank you!
[Tony looks at Manny]
Tony Montana : Manolo, shoot that piece of shit!
hahahah! those two are class mate.

[T meister]

Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction.......

Sewer Rats may taste like Chicken but that still dont mean i'll eat the motherf*ckers!

Sweeet

[jMz]

Samuel L Jackson in Pulp Fiction.......

Sewer Rats may taste like Chicken but that still dont mean i'll eat the motherf*ckers!

Sweeet
I don't normally correct people (its annoying I know)
But I can't let this mis-quote of Pulp Fiction slide.

Jules: Sewer rat may taste like pumpkin pie, but I'll never know cos I wouldn't eat the filthy mother fucker.

[Ogopa Djz]

Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

Off Gladiator.Deepest line in the movie. :p

[jMz]

Are you not entertained? Are you not entertained? Is this not why you are here?

Off Gladiator.Deepest line in the movie. :p
Good call.
I say this to my mates after I've whipped them on PES....

[Travis Bickle]

Repo Man

"Look at 'em. Ordinary fucking people. I hate 'em.


Reminds me of the line off " The Mighty Boosh."(comedy show BBC3)

"Don't you hate it when you get in a lift and its full of people........God, I hate people"

[jMz]

Johns : How's it look?
Riddick : Looks clear.
[They step forward, and a creature jumps at them. They fight and kill it]
Johns : You said it was clear!
Riddick : I said it *looked* clear.
Johns : Well, how does it look now?
Riddick : Looks clear.

-----

Riddick : They say most of your brain shuts down during cryo-sleep. All but the primitive side, the animal side. No wonder I'm still awake.

-----

Imam : Where's Johns?
Riddick : Which half?

-----

[Riddick snaps the neck of a raptor]
Riddick : Did not know who he was fuckin with.

-----

Riddick : Once the killing starts, this psycho fuck family of ours is gonna rip itself apart.

[Foxhound]

there's no point for me to create a new thread.. its from my wife and kids

michael:we are going to the Hoo's Restaurant
his wife: who's restaurant?
michael:who cares

[DDjnr]

From Scarface when Tony is being interogated by the feds or whoever they were
feds: how did you get that scar tony ? From eating pussy?
Tony : how can you get a scar from eating pussy?

[Singh]

Scarface Quote

In this country, you gotta make the money first. Then when you get the money, you get the power.

You wanna waste my time? Okay. I call my lawyer. He's the best lawyer in Miami. He's such a good lawyer, that by tomorrow morning, you gonna be working in Alaska. So dress warm.

[Akuma]

quote from jaws...

Quint--''Here lies the body of Mary Lee,she died at the age of 103,for 15 years she kept her virginity,not a bad record for this vicinity''

quality lol

[jMz]

Bane: "Oh God!"
Smith: "Smith will suffice."

[Ketsbaia]

Anything from Pulp Fiction. Dogma, after Loki's just killed some people on the bus...

Loki - Who's house? Ron's house! I said Who's House? Rons House!

[jMz]

Dogma is cool.
Jay "Guys like us don't just fall out of the sky you know."
{Chris Rock falls from sky}
Jay "Beautiful big titted women don't just fall out of the sky you know"

[uA - 1905]

Sean Penn is GOD.

Paul Rivers : How many lives do we live? How many times do we die? They say we all lose 21 grams... at the exact moment of our death. Everyone. And how much fits into 21 grams? How much is lost? When do we lose 21 grams? How much goes with them? How much is gained? How much is gained? Twenty-one grams. The weight of a stack of five nickels. The weight of a hummingbird. A chocolate bar. How much did 21 grams weigh?

[Pig]

"Don't just look at it, eat it" Christian Bale (excuse spelling) in American Psyco.

The chap was refering to the ass of a prostitute when refering to another lady of such an occupation.

[Lami]

"Now youre gona die with that stupid little hat! How do u feel?!" - Michael Douglas talkin to an old man playin golf who had a heart attack coz Doug pulled out his shotgun when the old man wanted him off his golf course :D

[Foxhound]

from new york minute
an officer(he's old too!) says:
wow, Simple Plan huh? they rock!

a girl who watches the show says:
"i'm sorry, what is your name? is it Loser?"

[Pig]

Well it's time for a classic.

"There are two kinds of people my friend, those with loaded guns and those who dig"

A quote from on of the greatest films ever, the good, the bad and the ugly.

[ChelseaDave]

"I Guess i picked the wrong week to give up glue sniffing..."

:D

[jamieo22x]

what is your major malfunction private pile?!

[Ogopa Djz]

From Scary Movie 2.Two cripples are insulting each other.

Dwight Hartman : Thanks, "Handyman".
Hanson : I'm actually the caretaker. Oh, aren't those cool new skates? be careful with those, you don't want to fall and break something.
Dwight Hartman : Oh, that's funny, that's funny. Let me give you a "hand."
[starts clapping]
Hanson : Why, that's awful kind of you. Why don't you give me a "standing ovation?" Dwight Hartman : Why don't you "lift me up?"
Hanson : Ha, ok, I see where this is going. You look familiar to me. Were you in "STOMP"?
Dwight Hartman : You can kiss my grits.
Hanson : I think I'll be the bigger man, now, and walk away. "Walk" away.

[jMz]

This scene has just been on. I'd love to say this to a boss....

Richard Chesler: Is this yours?
Jack: Huh?
Richard Chesler: Pretend you're me. Make a managerial decision. You find this, what would you do?
Jack: Well, I've got to tell you. I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that is dangerous. And, this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap and then stalk from office to office with an Armilite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semiautomatic weapon: pumping round after round into colleagues and coworkers. This might be someone you've known for years . . . someone very, very close to you.

------------------------------------------------

Tyler: Who are you?
Lou: The sign on the front says Lou's Place. I'm fuckin Lou.

[Ronaldo 9]

It's my duty.. To please that booty..

Shaft 2000

silly, huh?

[Barry]

Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.

Monty Python:

Peasant 1: Are there? Oh well, tell us.
Sir Bedevere: Tell me. What do you do with witches?
Peasant 1: Burn them.
Sir Bedevere: And what do you burn, apart from witches?
Peasant 1: More witches.
Peasant 2: Wood.
Sir Bedevere: Good. Now, why do witches burn?
Peasant 3: ...because they're made of... wood?
Sir Bedevere: Good. So how do you tell whether she is made of wood?
Peasant 1: Build a bridge out of her.
Sir Bedevere: But can you not also build bridges out of stone?
Peasant 1: Oh yeah.
Sir Bedevere: Does wood sink in water?
Peasant 1: No, no, it floats!... It floats! Throw her into the pond!
Sir Bedevere: No, no. What else floats in water?
Peasant 1: Bread.
Peasant 2: Apples.
Peasant 3: Very small rocks.
Peasant 1: Cider.
Peasant 2: Gravy.
Peasant 3: Cherries.
Peasant 1: Mud.
Peasant 2: Churches.
Peasant 3: Lead! Lead!
King Arthur: A Duck.
Sir Bedevere: ...Exactly. So, logically...
Peasant 1: If she weighed the same as a duck... she's made of wood.
Sir Bedevere: And therefore...
Peasant 2: ..A witch!

[garyvann]

"Now youre gona die with that stupid little hat! How do u feel?!" - Michael Douglas talkin to an old man playin golf who had a heart attack coz Doug pulled out his shotgun when the old man wanted him off his golf course :D

Is that from Falling Down?

[proevo_15021975]

i like the one on dirty harry when the mayor asks harry how he new that the man he shot was a rapist and a murderer.

harry replies,well when i see a man running down the street naked,armed with a meat cleaver and a hard on i guess he's not collecting for the red cross.

so no evil hear no evil,when the womans got her hand down priors pocket and he says i dont no what your looking for but its a little to the left.

[jMz]

Ordell Robbie in Jackie Brown.
"Then break out the beeper number nigger"
It's not offensive when its a quote...... Sorry but it sounds really cool the way he says it.

Dusk til Dawn.
Kate: "What's in Mexico?"
Richie: "Mexicans"

[Foxhound]

"Attention, attention...we're looking for the chick with big boobs." "Yeah, we are ready to do you now."

-- taken from Beavis & Butthead Do America

[Cray]

Pulp Fiction, the scene which Vincent shoots the guy on the head:

Vincent:'I just blow his motherfucking head off!'

it was funny when u watch it....

[LiamK]

A: Jesus, this is a nice limo

B: Yes it is. Now suck my cock.

:)

[Barry]

Team America isnt it :D

"Go ahead, make my day"
The way Clint says it, brilliant.

[Cannon ball]

"It was the darkest hour of the long dark night"
Not in a film but in a song.

[Barry]

"I know what you're thinking. Did he fire six shots or only five? Well, to tell you the truth, in all this excitement, I've kinda lost track myself. But being as this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world, and would blow your head clean off, you've got to ask yourself one question: 'Do I feel lucky?' Well, do ya punk?"

[Cray]

the 'silent' conversation in pulp fiction between John Travolta (spelling) and Uma

[AgentZero]

"Ice to see you" (batman)
"I pity fool" (Mr T)
"Damn, Shit & that is whacked"

[Estill]

Snatch...

--You're a natural, int'ya Terrance?
--Yea, a natural....
(Reverses car into van)
--A NATURAL FACKIN IDIOT!!

[Cray]

You are not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You are the same decaying organic matter as everyone else." ---quote from Brad Pitt 'Taylor Durten' in <FightClub>

[7RONALDO7]

Mr. Weed: Peter, your fired!
Peter: Aw! Damn it... for how long?

Family guy(not a film but classic)

[DJ_Smurf_2004]

" Say hello to my lil' friend " - Scarface
" Nobody Move, or the Nigger gets it " - Blazing Saddles
Chris Tucker - " C'mon man, i want some Mushu "
Jackie Chan - " Mushu, you hungry? " Rush Hour 2

[Divino1]

1."Hey, hey, don't be cruel." "You know where you going because there you are? - Buckaroo Bunzai across the 8th Dimension (Buckaroo Banzai)

2. "What the fuck am I going to do with a caravan with no fucking wheels." - Snatch (Mickey)

3. Snatch
"Two minutes turkish." -Gorgeous George
" It was Two minutes five minutes ago, Gorgeous." -Turkish

[PheonoM]

Willis: "jesus"
Sam L J: "do i look puerterrican to you?!"
Sam L J: "my name is zues"
Willis: "but those guys were calling you jesus"
Sam L J: "no they were saying 'hey, zues'"
Willis: "zues?"
Sam L J: "yea, zues!"
Sam L J: "you know, mount olympus, father of apollo, dont fuck with me or ill shove a lightning bolt up your ass! ZUES!"

it goes somthing alonmg those lines, one of my fav quotes ever.

most of my fav quotes are from Samuel L Jackson

"say what again, say what again. i dare ya, i double dare ya mother fucker, say what one more god damn time!"

"its the ones that says bad mother fucker.."

the whole of pulp fiction really :D

[oldtrafford1]

Come here honey-bun
im comin nigger!

wite chiks

[what is it not]

"life moves pretty fast, if you don't stop and look around once in a while you could miss it" classic-ferris bueller's day off

[cracky]

"Run forest run"- i wonder....

"Life is like a box of choclates, you never know what your gonna get"- gumpy again

:) :rolleyes:

[adams9802]

"Nobody Fucks with the Jesus"

Big Lebowski

[Slash]

Apocalypse Now:
"I love the smell o Napalm in the morning!"

The Rock:
"Losers always whine about their best... Winners go home and fuck the prom queen!"- Connery
"Carla was the prom queen!"- Cage

Hot shots 2
"these men took a vow of celibacy... like their fathers and their fathers before them"

"Piece of candy?"-President
"No thank you sir" Topper
"Young Lady?"- President
"No Thanks.."- lady
"What? No I was offering him a young lady"- president

Bad Boys:
"My shit always works sometimes!"-Lowry


Team America:
" I'm gonna rip your balls off and shove em up your ass, so the next time you shit, you shit all over your balls"

There's lots more...

[Saviola.]

"I'll live to see you eat that contract, but I hope you leave some fist before I ram it into your stomach and break your God damn spine!!!" - Arnie (who else would it have been!!?!?!?)

[Slash]

Oh yes... End of Days:
Arnie to Devil:
" You're natting bat a choir- boy compared to me!"

[Haribo]

"Yippee-ky-ay muther fucker."

[LiamK]

'Leave the gun, take the cannoli'

Godfather I

[kaniver1512]

Not from a fil(sorry), off "Bottom" the comedy series(Adrian Edmonson and Rick Mayall), the one where they are camping:-

Richie - I think theres something outside.
Eddie - Well Richie you can't expect the whole universe to exist in the confines of this small canvas tent.
Richie - Thats rather poetic eddie.
Eddie - Well i've just drunk half a bottle of Scotch, what do you expect.
:)

[stevieboy]

"8 year olds, dude."


The Big Lebowski.

[Stevie Baby]

Any Pulp fiction quotes. Snatch and Lock Stock are full of nice, clever scripting.

But one of my personal favourites:

"Welcome to the party pal!" - Bruce Willis; Die Hard

[tom pain]

Pulp Fiction

Captian Koons: So he hid it in the one place he knew he could hide something. His ass. Five long years, he wore this watch up his ass. Then he died of dysentery, he gave me the watch. I hid this uncomfortable hunk of metal up my ass two years. Then, after seven years, I was sent home to my family. And now, little man, I give the watch to you.

Jules: I used the same fuckin' soap you did and when I got finished, the towel didn't look like no god-damn Maxi-Pad.

Hot Shots

Topper Harley: Playing to lose is like sleeping with your sister. Sure she's a great piece of tail with a blouse full of goodies, but it's just illegal.

Wash-out: Well, there's a delicate corneal inversion procedure... a multi-opti-pupil-optomy. But, in order to keep from damaging the eye sockets, they've got to go in through the rectum. Ain't no man going to take that route with me!

Snatch

Vinny: What do you mean, Replicas?
Sol: They look the shit, don't they? And no one is going to argue. I've got some extra loud blanks just in case.
Vinny: Oh, in case we have to deafen them to death?

[Huw]

Animal House - "Get Neidermeiher on it, He's a sneaky little shit , just like you !"

Peoples Hernandez to Shaft "You kentucky fried ni..er" (I am not racist btw !) to which Shaft replies - well cant remember what he says but its hilarious and cool.

Whats the one where Bruce Willis says "So you fell over and your dick ended up in my wife "

[cadey]

"I don't care if hes Mohammed - I'm Hard - Bruce Lee, you're not changing the fighter. Now fuck off."

"It's a four tonne truck Tyrone, it's not as though it's a packet of fucking peanuts is it?"

"Sit down and shut up you big bald fuck"

"London? you know? fish, chips, mushy peas, Mary fucking Poppins, yeah London!"

"What do you mean open it up? it's not a tin of fucking beans"

SNATCH is one of the best films ever in my opinion. The writing is amazing, the characters are perfect and some of the quotes are absolutely hilarious.

[Akineye]

Two words, Blazing Saddles.

Oh lordy lord, he's desperate! Do what he says, do what he says!

http://www.ladyofthecake.com/mel/saddles/sounds/dowhathe.wav

[Jonny2J]

Benicio Del Toro in the lineup on The Usual Suspects when he says "hand me the keys motherfucker, fucken cocksucker" English please?

[methical]

ive been killing myself laughing at most of these quotes in the library, i was thinking of starting this thread and its already here and its great

phones ringing dude
thank you donny
------------------------
Chuckie: I didn't get on Cathy last night.
Will: No?
Chuckie: Nah.
Will: Why not?
Chuckie: I don't know.
[yells across room]
Chuckie: Cathy!
Cathy: What?
Chuckie: Why didn't you give me none of that nasty little hoochie-woochie you usually throw at me?
Cathy: Oh, fuck you and your Irish curse, Chuckie. Like I'd waste my energy spreading my legs for that Tootsie Roll dick? So go home and give it a tug yourself.

------------------------------------------------
Skylar: You were hoping for a goodnight kiss.
Will: No, you know. I'll tell ya, I was hoping for a goodnight lay, but I'd settle for a good night kiss.
-----------------------------------
Will: He used to just put a belt, a stick, and a wrench on the kitchen table and say, "Choose."
Sean: Well, I gotta go with the belt there.
Will: I used to go with the wrench.
Sean: Why?
Will: Cause fuck him, that' why.
-------------------------------------
Will: Oh, come on! What? Why is it always this? I mean, I fuckin' owe it to myself to do this or that. What if I don't want to?
Chuckie: No. No, no no no. Fuck you, you don't owe it to yourself man, you owe it to me, 'cause tomorrow I'm gonna wake up and I'll be 50, and I'll still be doin' this shit. And that's all right. That's fine. I mean, you're sittin' on a winnin' lottery ticket. You're too much of a pussy to cash it in, and that's bullshit. 'Cause I'd do fuckin' anything to have what you got. So would any of these fuckin' guys. It'd be an insult to watch if you're still here in 20 years. Hangin' around here is a fuckin' waste of your time.
-------------------------------------------------
good will hunting, the speach about the codes job

Will: Why shouldn't I work for the N.S.A.? That's a tough one, but I'll give it a shot. Say I'm working at N.S.A. Somebody puts a code on my desk, something nobody else can break. So I take a shot at it and maybe I break it. And I'm real happy with myself, 'cause I did my job well. But maybe that code was the location of some rebel army in North Africa or the Middle East. Once they have that location, they bomb the village where the rebels were hiding and fifteen hundred people I never had a problem with get killed. Now the politicians are sayin', "Send in the marines to secure the area" 'cause they don't give a shit. It won't be their kid over there, gettin' shot. Just like it wasn't them when their number was called, 'cause they were pullin' a tour in the National Guard. It'll be some guy from Southie takin' shrapnel in the ass. And he comes home to find that the plant he used to work at got exported to the country he just got back from. And the guy who put the shrapnel in his ass got his old job, 'cause he'll work for fifteen cents a day and no bathroom breaks. Meanwhile my buddy from Southie realizes the only reason he was over there was so we could install a government that would sell us oil at a good price. And of course the oil companies used the skirmish to scare up oil prices so they could turn a quick buck. A cute little ancillary benefit for them but it ain't helping my buddy at two-fifty a gallon. And naturally they're takin' their sweet time bringin' the oil back, and maybe even took the liberty of hiring an alcoholic skipper who likes to drink martinis and play slalom with the icebergs, and it ain't too long 'til he hits one, spills the oil and kills all the sea life in the North Atlantic. So my buddy's out of work and he can't afford to drive, so he's got to walk to the job interviews, which sucks 'cause the shrapnel in his ass is givin' him chronic hemorrhoids. And meanwhile he's starvin' 'cause every time he tries to get a bite to eat the only blue plate special they're servin' is North Atlantic scrod with Quaker State. So what do I think? I'm holdin' out for somethin' better. Why not just shoot my buddy, take his job and give it to his sworn enemy, hike up gas prices, bomb a village, club a baby seal, hit the hash pipe and join the National Guard? I could be elected president.

alot to read but theyre all great

pulp fiction is full of them and so is the big lebowski

shut the fuck up donny - classic

[methical]

donny were u listening to the dudes story

what?

where you listening to the dudes story?

i was bowling

so you have no frame of reference here, you're like a child who walks into a movie theatre and....

[Yoda]

Scarface

"All I have in this word is my world and my balls, and I don't break 'em for no-one you understand?"

[tottenhamfan]

true romance

hopper -"i dont believe you!"

walken - "thats not of importance. What is important is that i believe you!"

If you have seen the film you'll know the scene i mean. tarantino wrote it.

[Stevie Baby]

Team America

"I'll cut off your balls and shove them so far up your ass that when you shit, you'll shit all over your balls!" :laugh:

Great film.

[lokmad]

Usual Suspects:

"The greatest trick the devil ever pulled was convincing the world he didn't exist"

[Barry]

"Gretchen: Donnie Darko? What the hell kind of name is that? It's like some sort of superhero or something"
Donnie: What makes you think I'm not?

[tomo1811]

this is from family guy
lois: how can you vote for a man who thinks the plural to goose is sheep

[simmsm88]

Forrest Gump

[Forrest has finished assembling his rifle]
Forrest Gump: DONE, DRILL SERGEANT!
Drill Sergeant: GUUUUUUMP! Why did you put that weapon together so quickly, Gump?
Forrest Gump: Because you told me to, Drill Sergeant?
Drill Sergeant: Outstanding, Gump! This is a new company record! If it weren't such a waste of a fine enlisted man I'd recommend you for OCS! You are gonna be a general someday, Gump!
--------------------------------
Another one

Drill Sergeant: Gump! What's your sole purpose in this army?
Forrest Gump: To do whatever you tell me, drill sergeant!
Drill Sergeant: God damn it, Gump! You're a god damn genius! This is the most outstanding answer I have ever heard. You must have a goddamn I.Q. of 160. You are goddamn gifted, Private Gump. Listen up, people...
Forrest Gump: Now for some reason I fit in the army like one of them round pegs. It's not really hard. You just make your bed real neat and remember to stand up straight and always answer every question with "Yes, drill sergeant."
Drill Sergeant: ...Is that clear?
Forrest Gump: Yes, drill sergeant!

[methical]

scarface
you know what uv become tony, youve turned into an imagrant spick millionairre who cant...
who the fuck u callin a spick u white piece of rat

tony montana, coolest character ever

[Ray_H]

killing zoe
"sometimes you just need the honesty and security of a whore"

lock stock
"also, i think knives are a good idea.....big, fuck off shiney ones....guns for show, knives for a pro!"

"jesus christ! you could choke a dozen donkeys on that, what do you do in your spare time nick? finance reveloutions??"

alfie
"ta ta, hope you die soon"

and from almost all the star wars movies
"i have a bad feeling about this!"

[Papa Lazarou]

From Monty Pythons Life Of Brian:

"How Shall We Fuck Off O' Lord?

[methical]

south park

stan - hay guys, where do i find the clitoris

cartman - what is that like finding jesus or something
that is some line

[Slash]

The Rock:

Sean Connery: "losers always whine about their best.. winners go home and fuck the prom queen"
Nicholas Cage: "Carla was the prom queen"

Cage: "How do you do it?"
Connery: "I was trained by the best brittish intelligence"

Cage (shouts): "MASON COME BACK!"
Connery: "Some sniper's gonna get his arse"

[discoalla]

'You came with jack and shit. And jack just left town!''

'gimmie some sugar baby'

Evil dead 3, possibly the funniest movies of all time

[mvanbasten9]

i love crap horror films nothing beats a bit of rats night of terror which i got yesturday .....the best line in the whole film "i love video games ....never played one though"

that sux man. Its better in pornos when the chick is moaning after she got a load blown all over her face.

[Harry-Kewell]

'You came with jack and shit. And jack just left town!''

'gimmie some sugar baby'

Evil dead 3, possibly the funniest movies of all time

Yeah, 'Army of Darkness' definitely is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. I've watched it countless times. 'Ed Wood' is another fine movie. Both of these films are enriched with memorable quotes. Virtually, in each scene, there's something noteworthy.

[Nick Neville]

The sting with Newman and Redford is class:-

Redford:- We can take these guys they're not as tough as they look?
Newman:- Neither are we.

Redford on finding his future mentor on the floor in a drunken stupor:- Luther told me you could teach me something. I already know how to drink.

[Slash]

Quality film that

[svendust]

Team America

(something along the lines of 'how are you gonna keep them there that long?')

''I've got Arec Baldgwrin''


''IT IS INEVITIBLE.....ClEAN YOU'RE FUCKING EARS OUT BITCH''



From Scarface the editied edition shown on American TV

''How'd ya get that scar tough guy, eating pineapple?''

''Why don't you stick you're head up your toilet, see if it fits.''

[methical]

ruined some classic lines, american tv must suck, here we get most of those parts, american pie 2 had some swearing cut out which was annoyin but seems like u get robbed

[Los Galactico]

Mike Bassett's England Manager! so many!
After the Mexico game
"3 cheers for Remirez"

When Mike is recruiting players
"Mike- Have you got what it takes?"
"The Geordie- Ay boss, Ive jus missed laid it, Its in me pocket"

When Mike then catches the Geordie in the hotel late at night
"Ive never seen that guy in me life"

Poland vs England when England go 2-1 down
Mike- "Nice goal, well done Poland"

When I think of more I will post! But what a film!

[methical]

havnt seen it yet but i wonna watch it

withnal and i

"montey u terrible cunt"

most memerable line in the file

(i cant remember the guys name but hes walkin past a fat guy to go to the toilet in the pub)

fat guy "ponce"

he wlks into the toilet to take a piss and he sees someone has scraped "fuck arses" on the wall

"fuck arses, who fucks arses, (getting scared he fucks arses)

[mvanbasten9]

havnt seen it yet but i wonna watch it

withnal and i

"montey u terrible cunt"

most memerable line in the file

(i cant remember the guys name but hes walkin past a fat guy to go to the toilet in the pub)

fat guy "ponce"

he wlks into the toilet to take a piss and he sees someone has scraped "fuck arses" on the wall

"fuck arses, who fucks arses, (getting scared he fucks arses)

you dickhead

[Zero]

you dickhead

Now that's not very nice, is it?

After looking at a few of your posts I've banned you for a day.

[methical]

you dickhead

wot the fucks ur problem

[AgentZero]

....derrka derrka mohammed jihad...

[sukhy2004]

From Hot Shot Part Deux -

Topper "What you reading there?"
Random Guy "Great Expectations"
Topper "Any good?"
Random Guy "Not all that I hoped for"

Snatch -

Sol: What the fuck is that?
Vinny: Heh heh. This, is a shotgun Sol.
Sol: It's a fucking anti-aircraft gun Vincent.

Team America -

"I'll rip off you balls & shove them up your ass, so when you shit, you shit all over your balls!"
"Next time I see you I'm gonna drill holes in your dick, so when you piss, you piss all over the place!"

[Novacaine]

Clive Owen Sin City:

-It's time to prove your friends that your worth a damn, sometimes that means dying sometimes it means killing a whole lot of people.

-The Valkyrie at my side is shouting and laughing with the pure blood thirsty hatred of the slaughter, and so am I, The fire baby it will burn us both, but I will always love you, always and never.

Bruce Willis Die Hard:

-Does it sound like I'm ordering a fucking pizza lady

-Yipee Kai Yay Motherfucker