What is the worst thing you are willing to admit about yourself?

[Viperized]

I've got OCD and I am a germaphobe.

When it comes to public transport, I'll do anything in my power not to touch handles and the like. If I do end up seating on the seats, I'll wash those clothes as soon as I come home. If I have to use public bathrooms, I'll never touch the handles or the taps - I'll use tissue instead.

:/

[nath_scfc]

You sound like Sheldon Cooper from the Big Bang Theory.

[Papa]

I've got OCD and I am a germaphobe.

When it comes to public transport, I'll do anything in my power not to touch handles and the like. If I do end up seating on the seats, I'll wash those clothes as soon as I come home. If I have to use public bathrooms, I'll never touch the handles or the taps - I'll use tissue instead.

:/

You think being a germaphobe is worse than being a homophobe?

[Viperized]

Who said I'm a homophobe? I do not fear 'the gays'. Hardly any difference between most straight and gay people. It's a disgusting practise indeed but if that is how people would like to live their lives, then they are free to do so.

Also, contribute to the topic at hand or GTFO.

[Ziss]

So you never flush the toilets in public loos?

You dirty fuck!

[muscularmatt]

Tbf, this thread is a good idea. What will people admit? It would be funny if someone ended up confessing some heinous crime and going down for it.

Me, I've nothing interesting to confess sadly. Any fault I have, whether I notice it or anyone else does, I'll admit to. I'm not perfect, but I think I'm a pretty good guy.

[Viperized]

So you never flush the toilets in public loos?

You dirty fuck!
Of course I do. I use tissue to flush. And I always put the lid down to prevent any bacteria firing into my face.

Most people never put the lid down when flushing. Why? You dirty fuckers.

[Ziss]

I always put the lid down, so in your face germ-freak! :P

[Viperized]

I also hope everyone here washes their hands (throughly with handwash) following a trip to the bathroom. I remember reading a BBC article not-so-long ago regarding how Northerners tend to have poor hygiene in general including faecal particulate contamination. Public transport certainly suffered from faecal and urine contaminants. I think it was 1 in 5 is a dirty cunt. Can't really remember, but in any case, it's fucking disgusting.

[nath_scfc]

No, I just smudge my arse-crack clean(ish) with my bare hands then lick the residue off.

Of course people wash their hands ffs.

[Jonno394]

I piss in the sink when i'm feeling lazy.

[Barry]

I can't take a piss when there's someone in the vicinity. In a stall it's okay, but a urinal? Complete stand-still. Even if it's next to the Niagara Falls.

I suppose that's not the worst thing at all but I can't really think of anything right now.

[Viperized]

I never use urinals because it causes splash back.

[TH]

I can't take a piss when there's someone in the vicinity. In a stall it's okay, but a urinal? Complete stand-still. Even if it's next to the Niagara Falls.

I suppose that's not the worst thing at all but I can't really think of anything right now.



This, I tend to go for the cubicals! It's more annoying if you're desperate but there's loads of people in there too, say you're at a gig for example, and you feel like you can't cut into the cubical queue!

[muscularmatt]

I never use urinals because it causes splash back.

This is a concern, but you can negate the problem by adjusting your technique. When you begin, and pressure is therefore reasonably high, stand back a little more from the target. Then, as pressure drops, move closer as you finnish off.

Sorry guys, but people who piss in cubicles when a urinal is open need to take a long hard look at themselves.

[Jonno394]

Matt just admit you like pissing in urinals so you can look at other cocks.

That's the reason I do it.

[muscularmatt]

If you ever see a particularly impressive one, do you try and pull your own out more and plush it up a little to make it seem bigger? Don't want to lose face.

[IronCity]

Sorry guys, but people who piss in cubicles when a urinal is open need to take a long hard look at themselves.

they have been taking a look at that little pecker all their lives; thats why they are in the cubicle

[Jonno394]

No because i'm not a maggot wielding faggot matt!

[muscularmatt]

Oh come on Jonno, there's always a bigger dawg in the jungle.

[IronCity]

If you ever see a particularly impressive one, do you try and pull your own out more and plush it up a little to make it seem bigger? Don't want to lose face.

Sometimes you just have to cut your losses and admit defeat

[Jonno394]

Oh come on Jonno, there's always a bigger dawg in the jungle.

See Iron Citys response. I just look away in shame.

[muscularmatt]

Never tempted to say something? Like, if I saw a guy who had nicer car than me, I'd say "Nice car".

[IronCity]

except that I like my eye not to be blackened

[muscularmatt]

If someone complimented my cock, I wouldn't hit them! I'd enjoy the praise and thank them very much.

[Ziss]

If someone complimented my cock, I wouldn't hit them! I'd enjoy the praise and thank them very much.
I can see it now

"Thanks sis!"

[muscularmatt]

"Sis"? Is that somekind of nickname for YOUR MUM?

[IronCity]

If someone complimented my cock, I wouldn't hit them! I'd enjoy the praise and thank them very much.

Oh I would too, but the homophobes wouldn't enjoy it much.

[Papa]

Who said I'm a homophobe? I do not fear 'the gays'. Hardly any difference between most straight and gay people. It's a disgusting practise indeed but if that is how people would like to live their lives, then they are free to do so.

Also, contribute to the topic at hand or GTFO.

You've demonstrated your attitude towards homosexuals repeatedly on this site. I won't take this thread off-topic but it did jar that you highlighted your mysophobia as the worst thing about yourself when I would most certainly disagree.

But back on topic.

I have no problem pissing at a urinal or the like. My worst thing would probably be my excessive perfectionism.

[S-D-P]

You've demonstrated your attitude towards homosexuals repeatedly on this site. I won't take this thread off-topic but it did jar that you highlighted your mysophobia as the worst thing about yourself when I would most certainly disagree.

But back on topic.

I have no problem pissing at a urinal or the like. My worst thing would probably be my excessive perfectionism.

I'm a nervous pisser and shitter, which means I tend to stay away from urinals but this leads to the problem of people thinkin I'm going in the toliet to snort when on a night out.

Waits for small cock jokes.

[muscularmatt]

I have no problem pissing at a urinal or the like. My worst thing would probably be my excessive perfectionism.

Are the two related??

[Cannon ball]

I prefer pissing in cubicles, because then I can pull my pants all the way down to my ankles. I do that sometimes for a treat.

[muscularmatt]

LMAO you fucking what?!?

[Original?]

I prefer pissing in cubicles, because then I can pull my pants all the way down to my ankles. I do that sometimes for a treat.

Regarding this type of behaviour, I have seen loads of guys recently undoing their belts, top button and flies to take a piss in the urinals? Seriously, what is the matter with these people? It seems utterly unnecessary unless you have a micro-penis or you're packing a fucking industrial hosepipe that can't fit through the flies on your trousers/jeans.

Worst thing I'm willing to admit? I am addicted to diet coke, I can literally drink litres a day and at any time.

[Cannon ball]

LMAO you fucking what?!?

Sometimes I'm in a hurry and don't have time, or the toilet is pretty full, and you just want to finish quickly, but when you do have the time, I would highly recommend it. Its quite relaxing too.

[Viperized]

This is a concern, but you can negate the problem by adjusting your technique. When you begin, and pressure is therefore reasonably high, stand back a little more from the target. Then, as pressure drops, move closer as you finnish off.

Sorry guys, but people who piss in cubicles when a urinal is open need to take a long hard look at themselves.

I also prefer to use a cubical because I can wipe my dick using tissue.

I bet I have the cleanest underwear here. No yellow marks, no skid marks. I wash my ass with water.

[Viperized]

You've demonstrated your attitude towards homosexuals repeatedly on this site. I won't take this thread off-topic but it did jar that you highlighted your mysophobia as the worst thing about yourself when I would most certainly disagree.

But back on topic.

I have no problem pissing at a urinal or the like. My worst thing would probably be my excessive perfectionism.

Hahaha. You're simply clinging on a few words I said YEARS AGO. Would you like you back your claims with recent evidence? Emphasis on the word recent.

[Joel]

Edit button is there for a reason, Viperized.

[Papa]

Hahaha. You're simply clinging on a few words I said YEARS AGO. Would you like you back your claims with recent evidence? Emphasis on the word recent.

Must I really spend my time trawling through your posts? If you've adopted a more enlightened attitude of tolerance then fantastic. Welcome to civility.

Also, how has this thread become only about toilet habits?

[Viperized]

"Who said I'm a homophobe? I do not fear 'the gays'. Hardly any difference between most straight and gay people. It's a disgusting practise indeed but if that is how people would like to live their lives, then they are free to do so."

[S-D-P]

If homophobic means I'm scared of a cock up my arse then so be it.

[Hunter]

I also prefer to use a cubical because I can wipe my dick using tissue.

Bingo.

I always use cubicles, for several advantages:

1) Privacy.
2) I often change shirts throughout the day, with the most appropriate place often being in the toilets, and therefore cubicle of course.
3) Why would I shake my tackle in the hope that all residue comes out, when I can just use a piece of toilet roll to make sure that no residue will come out soon after. Job done.

[Original?]

"Who said I'm a homophobe? I do not fear 'the gays'. Hardly any difference between most straight and gay people. It's a disgusting practise indeed but if that is how people would like to live their lives, then they are free to do so."

So you're not 'scared' of gays, you just tolerate their disgusting behaviour? This is not really the thread I suppose but I'd be interested to hear what is so disgusting about their behaviour? If I'm honest it simply sounds like you're rationalising your bigoted views.

[muscularmatt]

The suffixes 'phobia' or 'phobic' don't necessarily mean 'fear of'. If you are disgusted by homosexuality, then you're homophobic.

If you just dislike the idea of being bummed yourself, then you're just straight.

[Viperized]

So you're not 'scared' of gays, you just tolerate their disgusting behaviour? This is not really the thread I suppose but I'd be interested to hear what is so disgusting about their behaviour? If I'm honest it simply sounds like you're rationalising your bigoted views.

I'm not biased towards the gay community. Anal sex is a disgusting practice all round. If you enjoy faeces on your private parts, then more power to you.

[Barry]

Then surely the idea of blood, babies, other penises and several other nasty kinds of discharge must bother you in some way?

We could get really Freudian here.

[Hunter]

Oh, that reminds me Barry brother - the thought of pregnancy scares me. If/when I have a child, I'm probably the type to be really freaked out by it. Like in the Friends episode, as Joey says, I'd rather be the father figure who's in the waiting room handing out cigars to friends and family. :lol:

[Barry]

Haha, I'd be the one passed out on the floor of the labor room, who bravely said beforehand "No I want to be there when my child is born!".

[Cannon ball]

Didn't David Beckham eat a mars bar, when one of his kids were being born?

[Mjällharth]

Let us hope it wasn't given to him by Faithfull

[muscularmatt]

I'm not biased towards the gay community. Anal sex is a disgusting practice all round. If you enjoy faeces on your private parts, then more power to you.

Would a thouroughly douched anus be okay for you then?

[nath_scfc]

Would a thouroughly douched anus be okay for you then?

Sounds like an offer...

[Ziss]

Oh, that reminds me Barry brother - the thought of pregnancy scares me. If/when I have a child, I'm probably the type to be really freaked out by it. Like in the Friends episode, as Joey says, I'd rather be the father figure who's in the waiting room handing out cigars to friends and family. :lol:
I used to feel the same, but if we found out we were expecting I would be chuffed to bits about it. Don't think we're quite ready for a sprog though; looking more at 2-3 years time.

[Miggy]

I've shagged a fatty.

http://i.imgur.com/xvOT9.gif

[Sully]

I've shagged a fatty.

http://i.imgur.com/xvOT9.gif

This.

I've also had an STD more than once.

[Barry]

How fat is actually fat? I need a visual aid here.

[muscularmatt]

It's all good bro. Once you go BBW, you'll never go back.

[Sully]

Well in proportion to her height mine wasn't exactly fat. She was just 6ft+ and solid

[muscularmatt]

A rule of thumb - as long as the boobs stick out further forward than the belly, then it's okay.

[PEM]

A rule of thumb - as long as the boobs stick out further forward than the belly, then it's okay.
:laugh: just :laugh:

[Cesc Fabregas]

I'm afraid of most animals but especially dogs. I am extremely cynophobic. I may well piss myself if a dog is chasing me(Hasn't happened before, thankfully(the pissing myself, not the latter part)). I am also extremely unsettled by any insect that is neither a normal sized housefly or ant. If it's larger than usual or anything besides those I freak out.

[Sully]

Worst thing is, I could fill this thread with the things I've done but a lot of it im too embarrassed to admit

[muscularmatt]

Oh come on, that's just asking for it. Confess!!

[Dale C.]

:laugh: Sully really could.

Also Matt, did you change your sig to that? :lol:

[Sully]

Lowest moment I can remember in recent times was passing out drunk whilst having a shit and throwing up all over myself. Had to be cleaned up by my friends before being put to bed. Worst is that there is video and photo evidence of this.

But thats just the tip of the iceberg.

[Dale C.]

I genuinely believe that I would feel nothing if I killed another man. No remorse, guilt, nothing.

[muscularmatt]

Matt, did you change your sig to that? :lol:

No. Someone's trying to stitch me up bra.



Lowest moment I can remember in recent times was passing out drunk whilst having a shit and throwing up all over myself. Had to be cleaned up by my friends before being put to bed. Worst is that there is video and photo evidence of this.

But thats just the tip of the iceberg.

That's epic.



I genuinely believe that I would feel nothing if I killed another man. No remorse, guilt, nothing.

Whut..?

[Dale C.]

No. Someone's trying to stitch me up bra.


Whut..?

Stich you up? What is your cracker self on about?


And yeah....read it again if you don't understand it? lol.

[muscularmatt]

The conspiracy, Dale. You must have seen of it.

[Sully]

I slept with my next door neighbor on the first night of freshers week last year. Continued sleeping with her for about 2 weeks until I got so drunk I threw up on her during sex. I still finished but never spoke to her again other than a facebook message telling her it would be wise if she had an sti test after I found out I had chlamydia. Made the rest of the uni year very awkward...

Thats just one of the stories I have about her. I regretted the way I behaved with that girl

[muscularmatt]

Genuine LMAO here. That's fucking funny. You are somewhat of a badboy aren't you?

[Sully]

Genuine LMAO here. That's fucking funny. You are somewhat of a badboy aren't you?

No im really not. I was in a relationship for most of the last year and on my best behavior. Im just a dickhead when drunk. I have so many stories and am so embarrassed by them. I refuse to listen to some of my friends stories cos I dont want to know haha

[muscularmatt]

Ahhh yes the old Mr Hyde at the bottom of a bottle syndrome. I know a couple of people like that.

[TH]

Funny thing is though, when Sully does all of that he's only had 1 pint!

[Sully]

Tbh, you're not far off it haha. Im not the biggest drinker but I don't know my limits at all and I dont stop 'til I either run out of money or booze

[fick]

I remember reading a BBC article not-so-long ago regarding how Northerners tend to have poor hygiene in general including faecal particulate contamination.

What it actually said, was that us northerners have to put up with shit from idiots who quote inane references to imaginary articles...

Edit button is there for a reason, Viperized.

So is the 'delete' button, Joel ;)

I slept with my next door neighbor on the first night of freshers week last year. Continued sleeping with her for about 2 weeks until I got so drunk I threw up on her during sex. I still finished but never spoke to her again other than a facebook message telling her it would be wise if she had an sti test after I found out I had chlamydia. Made the rest of the uni year very awkward...

Thats just one of the stories I have about her. I regretted the way I behaved with that girl

Forget Hollyoaks, you should have tried for Shameless :joel:

[Haribo]

I got so drunk I threw up on her during sex. I still finished but never spoke to her again other than a facebook message telling her it would be wise if she had an sti test after I found out I had chlamydia.

:lmao: :lmao:

[Joel]

What it actually said, was that us northerners have to put up with shit from idiots who quote inane references to imaginary articles...

Nah, it probably does say that northerners are dirty. And rightfully so :joel:

So is the 'delete' button, Joel ;)

I don't follow :serial:

[Cannon ball]

I also hope everyone here washes their hands (throughly with handwash) following a trip to the bathroom. I remember reading a BBC article not-so-long ago regarding how Northerners tend to have poor hygiene in general including faecal particulate contamination. Public transport certainly suffered from faecal and urine contaminants. I think it was 1 in 5 is a dirty cunt. Can't really remember, but in any case, it's fucking disgusting.

That BBC article was most likely written by some Southern fairy, who the furthest north they've ventured is Watford. The great London smog, anyone?

[Viperized]

What it actually said, was that us northerners have to put up with shit from idiots who quote inane references to imaginary articles...

"Scientists from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine swabbed 409 people at bus and train stations in five major cities in England and Wales.

The further north they went, the more often they found commuters with faecal bacteria on their hands - men in Newcastle were the worst offenders.

Newcastle - men 53%, women 30%
Liverpool - men 36%, women 31%
Birmingham - men 21%, women 26%"

Irrefutable Factual Evidence.

COME AT ME BRO.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7667499.stm

[fick]

"Scientists from the London School of Hygiene and Tropical Medicine swabbed 409 people at bus and train stations in five major cities in England and Wales.

The further north they went, the more often they found commuters with faecal bacteria on their hands - men in Newcastle were the worst offenders.

Newcastle - men 53%, women 30%
Liverpool - men 36%, women 31%
Birmingham - men 21%, women 26%"

Irrefutable Factual Evidence.

COME AT ME BRO.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/7667499.stm

Euston (London) - men 6%, women 21% :shocking:

I always knew those southern women were dirty bitches!

Anyhoo, it's a moot point. How do we know that all the people that were tested were locals? Surely in Birmingham there is a high possibility that a good number of the people tested were not local. Could easily have been from the south...

On another point, such spurious cleaning regimes for men is usually a sign of homosexuality...

Get away from me bro

[Viperized]

Still, not as dirty as those northerners.

But this is pretty much why I at least try to avoid touching handles in the Underground. God knows what filth resides on those trains. Morning commute is the worst.

[Miggy]

I'm developing a crush on Gary Barlow.

[nath_scfc]

I'm developing a crush on Gary Barlow.

We were discussing bromances in the pub the other night. John Krasinski <3.

[PEM]

We were discussing bromances in the pub the other night. John Krasinski <3.
May need to do this with that one Brah

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=22xkJXjSQ7s

[fick]

Still, not as dirty as those northerners.

Did you post this before, or after the neg rep? Always right :laugh:

Now who's being a dirty little boy?

[muscularmatt]

We were discussing bromances in the pub the other night. John Krasinski <3.

I've decided Adam Levine is mine. I think it's the voice.

[nath_scfc]

I've decided Adam Levine is mine. I think it's the voice.

What a waste of a bumming session.

Some others suggested Jamie Redknapp. He's a prick, but I can see it.

[Miggy]

Two words. Tom. Hardy.

Core! Would.

[muscularmatt]

What can I say, I guess I'm just trying to conntect with a person rather than just be shallow and physical like you guys.

[L . F . C]

I have a friend who is a really nervous shitter and pisser. He wont use urinals or a cubicle on a night out, he goes out of the club and pisses into an alleyway. Kinda strange....Probably got an STI.

[Sully]

Yeah.... A friend....

[muscularmatt]

Innit just? Atleast our Sully is willing to admit his grotesqueries!

[Viperized]

Did you post this before, or after the neg rep? Always right :laugh:

Now who's being a dirty little boy?
Re-read:

Almost always right.

[laughin man]

I slept with my next door neighbor on the first night of freshers week last year. Continued sleeping with her for about 2 weeks until I got so drunk I threw up on her during sex. I still finished but never spoke to her again other than a facebook message telling her it would be wise if she had an sti test after I found out I had chlamydia. Made the rest of the uni year very awkward...

Thats just one of the stories I have about her. I regretted the way I behaved with that girl

Thats brilliant haha

I can relate with the first part, got sick while having sex with a girl but not on her thankfully, didn't finish off either pretty much got sick on the way to the toilet and in the toilet then swiftly got dressed and got out, she lived near though like your one and I had to see her alot after my friend started dating her friend. She was strange though because I did sleep with her again afew months after that happened haha

[Haribo]

Yeah.... A friend....

What's the matter, you wouldn't consider yourself as LFC's friend? :shifty:

[Cannon ball]

Still, not as dirty as those northerners.

But this is pretty much why I at least try to avoid touching handles in the Underground. God knows what filth resides on those trains. Morning commute is the worst.

Hang on a second... You go to these lengths to avoid germs, yet you still get really volatile shits?

[chelsea11]

Hang on a second... You go to these lengths to avoid germs, yet you still get really volatile shits?

Probably has a terrible immune system from being over-protective of himself. Too clean. Don't know how well that will fare for someone wanting to be a doctor/surgeon.

[muscularmatt]

Obvious, innit? His overly cautious behaviour over the years has weakened his immune system. Probably got the AIDS or something.

EDIT - Snap chelsea!

[Hunter]

Viperized brother, do you happen to go to the gym?

I say this, as earlier today when I was at the gym, I went into the changing room as I do, to change my shirt and sort out anything in my backpack before locking it away. Anyway, I saw a guy (maybe in his early 20s), use the cubicle for a piss, however he left the door open, and then upon finishing, he turned around, opted not to wash his hands and walked straight out to use the gym equipment. It was a pretty cringeworthy sight, and I'm just thankful that today was my legs day, meaning I avoided touching any equipment he was near! - (he was working his chest).

[Cannon ball]

In my first year of University (I was living away from home), I got the mumps, in my first few weeks. I heard that this is actually a pretty common thing for people who live away from home, because their house is usually much cleaner, and they're very used to it being that way. Then they move into student accommodation where its less clean, and they get it.

[muscularmatt]

I've got the hardest immune system in the galaxy. No brag, I'm just hard as fuck.

[Cannon ball]

Bacteria doesn't make me sick, I make the bacteria sick.

[Viperized]

Hang on a second... You go to these lengths to avoid germs, yet you still get really volatile shits?

Once. It was only once. Yes, I made a thread on it, but it only lasted 6 hours. Food poisoning shows no mercy.

My immune system is actually fine. I rarely get ill.

I'm not being over protective - I'm merely avoiding fecal matter on my hands. Absolutely NOTHING wrong when taking care in public bathrooms or public transport for that matter. My cited BBC article only really reaffirms my actions.

[muscularmatt]

Food poisoning is nasty stuff, so I do sympathise. Try having it in a third world country, in 110 degree heat.

No I didn't make that up, that has happened to me.

[Sho]

I'm a tidy freak, when it comes to my bedroom, I always have to keep my cloths in the wardrobe, books on the book shelf, games, CDs and DVDs/ blu rays. I'll admit if I see anything misplaced, I'll go in a arkward mood.

Bottom line is I need my things tidy, even when I go to the supermarkets I always leave things on the right shelf.

[Dale C.]

Food poisoning is for pussies.


Like Matt, I have a great immune system, and a stomach that seems to be made from steel.

[nath_scfc]

Food poisoning is for pussies.


Like Matt, I have a great immune system, and a stomach that seems to be made from steel.

The alcohol kills any germs mate. That's what happens when you drink ethanol.

[fick]

I'm a tidy freak, when it comes to my bedroom, I always have to keep my cloths in the wardrobe, books on the book shelf, games, CDs and DVDs/ blu rays. I'll admit if I see anything misplaced, I'll go in a arkward mood.

Never thought of that. I'm really anal about my DVD collection being in alphabetic order. If the missus puts one in the wrong place it drives me mad. It's not rocket science. Getting annoyed now just thinking about it.

The alcohol kills any germs mate. That's what happens when you drink ethanol.

And brain cells... as Dale has proven on several spamming occasions :joel:

[Dale C.]

True dat. Out tonight lads.....you know what that means :naughty: :naughty:

[Papa]

True dat. Out tonight lads.....you know what that means :naughty: :naughty:

Shall I ban you now just to save time?

[PEM]

True dat. Out tonight lads.....you know what that means :naughty: :naughty:
As am I...Hope you don't spot me, you'll ruin my cool.

[Sully]

Out last night on a work thing. Bottles of grey goose and vueve champagne. I dont remember a thing and have come home without my iphone 4. I should not be allowed alcohol

[nath_scfc]

Surely not the Clicquot?

[TH]

Shall I ban you now just to save time?

This is the safest option, what with the 9/11 10 year anniversary round the corner

[Viperized]

Food poisoning is for pussies.


Like Matt, I have a great immune system, and a stomach that seems to be made from steel.
Uh, no.

Your immune system cannot reach the epithelium lining the intestines. The bacterial toxins are protected by the intestine itself, a form of antigenic concealment.

You can have the strongest immune system in the world and your body will still remain defenceless at the onslaught of diarrhoea you will eventually get.

Fortunately, diarrhoea is an adept defence mechanism to forcefully eliminate any toxins or waste from your intestines, allowing you to recover and return to normal.

Tl;dr version - shit happens.

[muscularmatt]

I think Dale was being facetious.

Also, I don't know why, but I loathe the word 'toxins'.

[Dale C.]

Uh, no.

Your immune system cannot reach the epithelium lining the intestines. The bacterial toxins are protected by the intestine itself, a form of antigenic concealment.

You can have the strongest immune system in the world and your body will still remain defenceless at the onslaught of diarrhoea you will eventually get.

Fortunately, diarrhoea is an adept defence mechanism to forcefully eliminate any toxins or waste from your intestines, allowing you to recover and return to normal.

Tl;dr version - shit happens.

Eventually get? I don't eat my own shit or drink from dirty rivers thanks Viperized, that's for you apparently. I'll be fine, don't worry about me ;)

[Sully]

So.... I found out that I passed out inside of the club. Only after getting my knob out and also telling a girl I work with to sit on my face.

You know that one idiot you see on a night out and think 'what a wanker!'. I think i'm that guy.

Giving up the booze.... let's see how it goes

[chelsea11]

So.... I found out that I passed out inside of the club. Only after getting my knob out and also telling a girl I work with to sit on my face.

You know that one idiot you see on a night out and think 'what a wanker!'. I think i'm that guy.

Giving up the booze.... let's see how it goes

Been there, many a time, my man. Never lasts more than 2 weeks for myself, and then I go out and drink reasonably for a couple weeks, then it goes downhill again. It's almost routine at this stage! :lol:

[nath_scfc]

So.... I found out that I passed out inside of the club. Only after getting my knob out and also telling a girl I work with to sit on my face.

You know that one idiot you see on a night out and think 'what a wanker!'. I think i'm that guy.

Giving up the booze.... let's see how it goes

Tbf, I think I would if you were sober too.

[Nifty1Pound50]

About three months ago, I was awoken at about 6am really needing a piss.

Instead of instinctively holding on and getting up and pissing in the toilet, I let go for about one second before shutting the pipe, so to speak.

I was in a half dreaming state still and it took me about 10 seconds to comprehend what I had actually done.

Worst thing about it was that I'd only changed my sheets the night before.

I, literally, wet the bed. Thank fuck my missus wasn't staying.

[Makavelian]

:lol:last time i did that was when i was about 10 and i swear at the time i thought i was on the toilet in my dream.
My confession on here is i've never had a wet dream during my change in my youth or never had one EvEr just raging ache boners :lmao:.

[muscularmatt]

Oh don't worry, I had a wet dream when I was about 21. And I've shit the bed.

Not in the same night.

[Makavelian]

:lol:I'd rather not have one now ,i'm happy with my handbrake stopping me from rolling out of bed.

[TH]

I had sex with my best friends mum and her friend.

[Makavelian]

No that should of gone in my new thread th14 what i'm planning on creating,
biggest win of your life.

[Viperized]

About three months ago, I was awoken at about 6am really needing a piss.

Instead of instinctively holding on and getting up and pissing in the toilet, I let go for about one second before shutting the pipe, so to speak.

I was in a half dreaming state still and it took me about 10 seconds to comprehend what I had actually done.

Worst thing about it was that I'd only changed my sheets the night before.

I, literally, wet the bed. Thank fuck my missus wasn't staying.
I've had many dreams (or maybe these are nightmares) where I'm pissing or have pissed myself.

Fortunately I am semi-concious of this and wake up immediately. Luckily nothing whatsoever is on my bed sheets let alone on my boxers.

[Joel]

I've had that dream many times, but with shit.

I'm the toilet and I'm always straining. I wake up and panic, but luckily I'm always clean. It's weird, because I don't even need to shit when I get up.

Maybe my mind if trying to tell me that shit will happen today :hmm:

[Makavelian]

I wake up and panic, but luckily I'm always clean.

Sure.

[Viperized]

I tend to get wet dreams a few times a year. It's been happening every year for me since I was 14 or 15 :\

I thought this shit would have stopped by now. Once I had 3 wet dreams in a week.

Nothing is worse than having to wake up, have a shower and change the bed sheets all in the middle of the night while I'm trying to get some damn sleep!

[muscularmatt]

That's precious, Joel.

[Joel]

Sure.

That's precious, Joel.

You all just jelly I can contain myself unlike you.

[Ali_BWFC]

:lol:last time i did that was when i was about 10 and i swear at the time i thought i was on the toilet in my dream.
My confession on here is i've never had a wet dream during my change in my youth or never had one EvEr just raging ache boners :lmao:.

Wet dreams are just a way of your body getting rid of the spunk. So, you must have discovered another way of getting rid of it at an early age ;)
Wet dreams don't even have to be sexual dreams.

[muscularmatt]

I had sex with my best friends mum and her friend.

This I'm also intruiged by. Real talk?

[TH]

Haha nah was just messing, that's only porn stuff right there!

[muscularmatt]

God damn it. I once missed out on the chance to do two girls at the same time because I was a stupid twat and didn't realise what was going on.

And I was drunk. But no excuse.

[Appswah]

God damn it. I once missed out on the chance to do two girls at the same time because I was a stupid twat and didn't realise what was going on.

And I was drunk. But no excuse.

Your mum and your sister don't count matt..

[Ziss]

Your mum and your sister don't count matt..
That's still only two people having sex, as his sister is his mum ;)

http://www.bloody-disgusting.com/photosizer/upload/inbred070111.jpg

[muscularmatt]

Fuck you guys. Get cancer and die.

[StringerBell]

In junior high I used to play the Star Wars card game kinda like Magic the Gathering. Anyway it was pretty popular in my school I used to trade common low class cards for rare cards. Basically I'd con immigrant kids who didn't speak English all to well into trading their rare cards to me for practically nothing.

[muscularmatt]

That's evil bro.

[TH]

Ha when we had cards at middle school I used to look through other peoples decks and when they weren't looking I'd slip one into my pocket! Never got caught muhahaha

[StringerBell]

Ha when we had cards at middle school I used to look through other peoples decks and when they weren't looking I'd slip one into my pocket! Never got caught muhahaha

Guilty of that as well. Card games were serious business back in the day. IN fact at my school you either sat at the Star Wars table or the Magic table. We hated them and they hated us because their game was stupid. From the neutral perspective we were all nerds :D I only wish I would have sold my collection when they were still worth something. I remember having cars that were selling at the comic shop for 20-30 bucks. Like some mini investor I figured they'd only go up in price over time.

[AgentZero]

re: pissing yourself, around 12/13 I thought I could hold one while playing ruggers. I Ended up having a tactical during a penalty kick on the pitch.

[MeatGravyMeat]

Guilty of that as well. Card games were serious business back in the day. IN fact at my school you either sat at the Star Wars table or the Magic table. We hated them and they hated us because their game was stupid. From the neutral perspective we were all nerds :D I only wish I would have sold my collection when they were still worth something. I remember having cars that were selling at the comic shop for 20-30 bucks. Like some mini investor I figured they'd only go up in price over time.

Yes! Had the same cards. I have a decent size Star Wars collection. Not like those people with epic collections that take up their entire house but still... I have loads of toys from the '70s when my older brother was growing up that he gave me when I was five. They released the remastered 20th anniversary edition in the cinemas when I was growing up so I have endless toys, books, sticker collections, videos, dvds and now blu-rays, all sealed, all of the same bloody thing. The worst part, apart from being hella nerdy, is that the whole lot's worth about £13.50 because everybody has that same collection.

I have a better story about my nephew (I know, I know, post properly or GTFO but it's a funny story). Using a cracking bit of child's logic, he noticed that the family dog licked it's bum a lot and therefore the dog's bum must taste nice. He says it didn't.

[Viperized]

Yes! Had the same cards. I have a decent size Star Wars collection. Not like those people with epic collections that take up their entire house but still... I have loads of toys from the '70s when my older brother was growing up that he gave me when I was five. They released the remastered 20th anniversary edition in the cinemas when I was growing up so I have endless toys, books, sticker collections, videos, dvds and now blu-rays, all sealed, all of the same bloody thing. The worst part, apart from being hella nerdy, is that the whole lot's worth about £13.50 because everybody has that same collection.

I have a better story about my nephew (I know, I know, post properly or GTFO but it's a funny story). Using a cracking bit of child's logic, he noticed that the family dog licked it's bum a lot and therefore the dog's bum must taste nice. He says it didn't.
Wow.

Also, cool story bro.

[Dale C.]

I once stole a shiny Moltres from my best friend.


Yeah. Beat that bitches.

[StringerBell]

hahah glad this thread was steered into discussing trading cards :laugh:

I knew kids in my school during the Poke' craze that would use a high quality scanner to replicate the "rare" cards. Then they'd try and trade them to you :tongue:

[Hunter]

hahah glad this thread was steered into discussing trading cards :laugh:

I knew kids in my school during the Poke' craze that would use a high quality scanner to replicate the "rare" cards. Then they'd try and trade them to you :tongue:

:lol:

Talk about printing money!

Pokémon cards were crazy, and even looking back, they were awesome, the uniqueness was brilliant. I don't think anyone actually played the game as intended though!

At our school it was sort of fair game to take other's cards if they weren't paying attention. It was a game in itself. You knew who took your card(s) and so you made a point of not only trying to get them back, but also take another of theirs in the process. They soon got 'banned' mind due to everyone becoming obsessed with them, especially when the teachers found out about this stealing mini-game that everyone took part in. :lol:

Man I think I even still have some Pokémon cards somewhere, I know my bro has a starter pack - I seen it sealed up and fresh when he was cleaning his room out - he wouldn't let me open it though the fag, it would have made my day.

[Sully]

I pulled my ex girlfriends best friend but it was before we were together so it's okay.

My ex-girlfriend Lizzie was quite a good friend before we got together officially. We had hooked up quite a bit and I really started to develop feelings for her. During this time she got back with an ex boyfriend of hers who used to hit her. In an attempt to make her jealous I pulled her best friend in a club and took her home that night. I wasn't all bad tho as when I got home I told the girl I wasn't going to sleep with her and explained why I done it.

My plan to make Lizzie jealous worked and we had a massive row over the fact I kissed her mate. In this row she told me that her best mate had had a crush on me for months and thats why we she wouldn't be with me in the first place. We worked it out and started to go out.

Her best friend still tried it with me tho and told me she had strong feelings for me :erm: To cut a long story short, I told her I had no attraction to her and that I was with her best friend and she needed to leave me the fuck alone.

She spent the next 4 months hating me and trying to break me and my ex up. Today sent me a text saying how she won and she was happy me and my ex broke up.

Be careful how you treat people, karma is a cunt :(

[TH]

Do you pay all these girls sully?

[Sully]

The question you should be asking is 'do these girls pay you?'

[Michu]

She spent the next 4 months hating me and trying to break me and my ex up. Today sent me a text saying how she won and she was happy me and my ex broke up.

Be careful how you treat people, karma is a cunt :(

Just text the dumb bint saying that's she's just bitter because it wasn't her colon on you were whitewashing! :lmao:

She'll be so disgusted she'll epically fail with any retort.