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Greatest Masterbator

Divino1

Registered User
I prefer pumpkins instead of melons. Pumpkins look like ass..hmmm especially nice and warm pumpkins..lol
 

Flipper the Priest

The Northern Light
Travis Bickle said:
I was twenty-five years old before I was kissed,
and then I found that I preferred a swift one off the wrist.
It's cheap and convenient, you can't catch VD.
It's available at any time and it's absolutely free.
And that's why

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'.

Oh, Mrs Palm and your five lovely daughters,
thank you for having me and being oh, so kind.
I've got pains in my arms and my dong is growing shorter,
My knees have turned to water, and I think I'm going blind.
I've wanked over Italy, I've wanked over Spain.
I've wanked in an omnibus, I've even had a wank in a train.
I've used a badger and a melon and a cat,
an inflatable Linda Lovelace, and a Davy Crockett hat.
And that's why

I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker.
and it does me good like it bloody well should.
I'm a wanker, I'm a wanker
and I'm always pulling my pud'.

It's a song by a chap called Ivor Biggun (well, that's his stage name, anyway) and it's available on all good P2P networks, and some rubbish ones as well.
 

Lorenzinho

Registered User
This is fucking freaky...It's just...Eughhhhh! Keep yourself to yourself please.

Are you gay, Divino1? Is that why you dont have a girl? Is that why you spank the monkey so much?

Im asking this with all seriousness...

P.S. :D at Travis. Ha Ha. Made ma day...
 

jMz

I beg your pardon?
The-Clash said:
Dude, your reading too much into this, you don't wanna end up like Divino1.
Just doing my part to try and help him out.
It doesn't take much to put masturbation in google then copy and paste a paragraph into a forum. I wouldn't say that was reading into it too much...
 

mutu

Betting Guru
Nice thread, let's make him an admin

:rolleyes:

Whats the difference between an egg and a good wank?
 

The-Clash

Registered User
Divino1 said:
I prefer pumpkins instead of melons. Pumpkins look like ass..hmmm especially nice and warm pumpkins..lol

Divino1 is like one of those guys whos named and shamed in the News of the World, then subsequently their house is attacked by chavs.
 

Gunplay

Registered User
tom pain said:
And I can't wait til Gunplay reads this. He might have something to say on this.
Indeed.

28 years of age and going on Internet forums to mention how consistant you are at wanking. Is it me or does that sound disturbing ?

You can wank as much as you like, but no need to share this self-pleasuring session with us. It's nothing new, nothing innovative, nothing life saving.

p.s I hope one day you decide to wank near machinery or a cheese grater which ends your tossing career.
 

pier69

Registered User
Divino1 ur a cool guy , and i think masturbating is normal , i masturbate once every 3 days . and i sstarted when i was.....i dun remember...., anyway . WPW , World Peace and Wanking
 

jMz

I beg your pardon?
Divino is a cool guy indeed. I admire anyone who throws themselves into the line of fire and takes all the bullets like a man! We all have something to learn from him: Don't admit how much you wank in public...

GREAT joke Mutu.... You can beat an egg but... lol....
 
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