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Old 03-08-2011, 11:39   #61
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Old 03-08-2011, 11:42   #62
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Me
I will release a statement, after numerous clubs have made bids for my star striker, Darren Bent:

NOT FOR SALE! FUCK OFF!
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Old 03-08-2011, 13:58   #63
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Quote:
Darren Bent on his way to Army?

Reports of striker Darren Bent leaving the midlands team were quashed by their manager. But now the striker has been seen in Cairo and is reportedly having a medical. It is reported that an offer of 7 million pounds was accepted by Midtable Mediocrity Wanderers. Manager Cesc Fabregas said "It's pretty much a done deal, he's having his medical and we're ironing out his personal wages and all that. We're almost done and he's a fantastic striker. Great acquisition.
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Old 03-08-2011, 14:05   #64
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Old 03-08-2011, 14:27   #65
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Balls Magazine
In a recent interview with the AFC Midtable Mediocrity Wanderers manager, he states:

"I am really starting to worry about the intellect of some members of the league, with regards to being geography impaired. We're not in the fucking Midlands.... we're in the North West.... get it fucking right!"

When asked how he feels about to prospect of travelling to an away match in Cairo, he said:

"It's a bloody fucking joke to be honest. What the shit where the league thinking? The logistics involved in travelling to cacking Cairo for a sodding away game are insane! Utter, utter bull plop."

Meanwhile, Darren Bent responded to incorrect reports that he is due to join Cairo-based Army of 1 Million:

"nah, blood. aint tru. i never heard nothin from cairo. though it wld be nice 2 visit 1 day, i here turkey is luvly this time of the yr"
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Old 03-08-2011, 14:29   #66
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Quote:
Originally posted by Sky Sports

Eggington to hi-jack Bent deal?

With the transfer of Darren Bent to Army of 1 Million seemingly a done deal, Eggington Town have come up with an 11th hour bid and look set to hi-jack the deal.

Bent, who was allegedly in Cairo to have a medical with Army of 1 Million, has been the subject of intense transfer speculation and looked destined to join the Egypt-based side. However, upon hearing of these new developments, Eggington Town has, immediately, sent Financial Adviser Arsene Wenger and Chief Negotiator Nicklas Bendtner in an attempt to try and hi-jack the deal.

When asked why Eggington were so interested in Bent, Bendtner replied: "He's a very good striker. Not as good as me, but he'll do." Financial Adviser, Wenger, was also asked how the club were hoping to pay for Bent, taking into account their strict financial principles and Wenger's own prudent transfer history, to which Wenger answered with a mischievous wink.
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Old 03-08-2011, 14:50   #67
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PEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by AliPEM has by now had a thread closed by Ali

Quote:
George Michael - "Bent Is shite" and hits out at Team Rocket



Since many clubs across the country have been speculated to sign the forward, Skysports asked Planet Express Manager George Michael what his opinions on the striker are.

"Darren Bent is a quality striker.....Given that he is at the right club. I highly doubt he will score many goals due to Alex McLeish being too defensive when it comes to tactics. I've worked with McLeish before and his tactics are very negative. When taking a lead, he will try and keep that 1 goal cushion. He will never try and push forward. He knows how to organise defences, but not the greatest when it comes to attacks. Thats why Bent is Shite in my opinion as he is useless at the club he is currently at."

"oh and I'd just like to add one more thing. Team Rocket, although your squad is nearly full, I suggest signing some new players...Maybe another 18 as the team is weak...LAST WEEK. I know many agree as would Meowth...but he would say, "Thatssss righttt"
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Old 03-08-2011, 15:13   #68
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Appswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung outAppswah is likely to have heard by now that PESInsight was where the cool kids hung out

Quote:
Originally Posted by BBC NEWS!!!1!
Darren Bent has been caught red handed after it was confirmed by the players agent that the leaked picture on the internet is actually the player himself. The photos show Darren Bent entering, staying for 20 mins and leaving the public toilets located in south London for what is believed to be a an A-list star Glory Holeing session.

Stars including George Michael and Will Young were amongst the visit and will all be named and shamed in tomorrows newpapers.

George Michael Leaving the scene of the crime.


Eamonn Holmes chairman of Raoul Moatdrid was quoted:

"Thank fuck our enquiry about this player was knocked straight back! The guys a cock sucker!"

More to follow...
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Old 03-08-2011, 23:01   #69
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Quote:
Army manager Cesc Fabregas has revealed his delight at the press being taken to a more prominent role in the league. "It adds suspense and is fun to view. I'm really glad the league are giving it more attention."

When asked whether Darren Bent will join after the recent comments he said "We've hit a complication in his medical. He has cuntiosis and we're not sure how that might affect his play. I guess that's why the fee of 5.5 million was agreed. those 4 million sure seem like a lot now. It's 3 fucking million for god's sake."
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Old 04-08-2011, 11:28   #70
Ali
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ChalkSport
There's Something About Darren

Darren Bent hasn't even kicked a ball this season. But he has already been the talk of the town, with numerous high profile approaches from some of the top clubs in the league. In an unusually eloquent interview, he told us:

"When I signed for AFC M.M. Wanderers, I was overcome with an emotion that was contiguous to complete enrichment of one's soul. I was indubitably delighted to be aquainted with the club, and all it's loyal supporters. When one signs for a highly prestigious club, one has to hold one's self to the highest regard. After all, elation is the key to happiness, and I am truly elated.
When one is approached by another club, flattery is on the menu. However, loyalty has been a long-standing member of said menu, loyalty which can not be matched, by man or beast, in any such form. Innit bruv?"


(Rumours of drug abuse were strongly denied by the club.)

Meanwhile, Ali Beedoubleyoueffsee has been enraged by the constant pursuit of his star striker:

"He's not for sale at any price. I don't appreciate other clubs talking about my player. I wouldn't do that for their players, and I would expect the same respect. Should such actions continue, I would be forced to report to the league chiefs"
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Old 04-08-2011, 11:58   #71
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Quote:
Army manager Cesc Fabregas was asked to comment on the situation of Bent. He replied "We cured his cuntiosis and he's gonna join us soon. I don't talk about other teams' players, but he's our player now". Competition will be powerful between Bent, Van Persie and Dzeko. Van Persie at least, is assured a starting berth.
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Old 06-08-2011, 00:12   #72
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Cesc Fabregas is starting to get recognised at the PESGaming weekly breakfastCesc Fabregas is starting to get recognised at the PESGaming weekly breakfastCesc Fabregas is starting to get recognised at the PESGaming weekly breakfastCesc Fabregas is starting to get recognised at the PESGaming weekly breakfastCesc Fabregas is starting to get recognised at the PESGaming weekly breakfast

Quote:
Army of 1 Million manager Cesc Fabregas has come out to comment on the recent lull in transfers. "Mr. Nifty1pound50 is a busy man and we all appreciate his hard work. He is great at organizing transfers and he introduced technology to the league. He obviously has more important things on his agenda but we expect him to end the speculation soon enough."

He was then asked whether he approved of his team and he said "Of course, the boys work hard everyday in training. There is chemistry building up and we have plenty of world class players. Other teams don't have these luxuries. You look at Team Rocket and they don't fit together. You look at Eggington and they have average players and don't have the kind of world class players you need to win this league. Maybe enough to get to the top 7 but I doubt they will get anywhere near the top 4. Our fans are fantastic as well and they are confident of winning, so are our players. We have that winning mentality which will be the deciding factor in this league I reckon."
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Old 08-08-2011, 20:33   #73
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Completed Auctions and Transfers News Daily
AFC M.M. Wanderers are delighted to announce the signing of 3 top quality left footed players. With a combined price of 11 million pounds, Damien Duff, Ivan Klasnic and Diniyar Bilyaletdinov have completed the move to the Bolton - based team. The manager said:

"I'm chuffed to bits. With these signings, my squad is almost complete, all I need is one extra goalie, and I believe we'll literally shit on all the other teams."
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Old 08-08-2011, 21:02   #74
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Quote:
Army of 1 Million is pleased to announce the signing of 4 new strikers. Micheal Owen, Carlos Tevez, Gabriel Agbonlahor, and Nicolas Anelka have joined for 3m, 8.1m, 3m, and 5.1m respectively. The strikers are expected to join Edin Dzeko and Robin Van Persie in training by the 10th of August and are the final pieces of the puzzle for the club.

Doubt has been cast at their futures though, as Cesc Fabregas said at the beginning of the season that he will only buy 4 strikers. While he may have changed his mind, the players have been said to be up for transfer is wanted by other clubs, and Micheal Owen and Nicolas Anelka and Gabriel Agbonlahor have been put up for transfer as well as defenders Sebastien Squillaci, Jose Bosingwa, Tony Hibbert and Ledley King. Martin Kelly has also been rumoured to want a move away. When asked about this, the gaffer said "Players might be sold but I will keep our squad intact and ready to compete."
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Old 09-08-2011, 19:30   #75
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Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Nifty1Pound50 is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.

Quote:
Originally Posted by Goal.com
The PESGaming Fantasy Football League Football Association regrettably announce that due to financial instability, Sho Sho FC have been liquidated.

The club's previously-held assets and players have been freed from contractual obligations and are now available to discuss terms with other clubs.
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Not even sound same!


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