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Old 27-01-2009, 11:01   #1
BarnDoor
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"BarnDoor's Wrestling Down-and-Out Club"

I can't double post so I'll have to space these out. Some vintage classics with added information where available.

"BarnDoor's Wrestling Down-and-Out Club", aka "BarnDoor's Abortion of the Week"

The title tells it all, we will examine the evolution of wrestlers from their small beginnings to the (relevant) big time and then culminating in that always amusing stage of a wrestler's career, the 'down-and-out' period. Its almost like a "Whatever happened to....?" type-thing but a good deal harsher and a lot funnier. Anyway today's (un)lucky recipient and the first member of the club is:

MIKE JONES, BEST KNOWN AS VIRGIL IN THE WWF/E and VINCENT IN WCW

Mike began his life in the WWF as Virgil, the bodyguard of the brilliant Million Dollar Man from about late 1987 to early 1991, when he rebelled against his rightful master:



It was a good gig, and one he probably should have stuck with. He feuded with Dibiase for a while, becoming the only man ever to win the Million Dollar Belt from him before becoming a mid-card face for a couple of years and leaving the company in early 1994. A notable aspect of this period for Virgil was being the unfortunate first man to face Yokozuna at Survivor Series 1992, where he was hilariously squashed under Yoko's enormous arse crack:



Virgil kicked his heels for two and half years, possibly rimming men or blowing cocks up alleyways for cash, when he got the gig of a lifetime, getting the call from Mr Bischoff to come and join WCW and more importantly, become the head of security for the NWO, and being reunited with Ted Dibiase once more. He was now Vincent, seemingly a knock at WWF Chairman, Vince McMahon. Here he resided for over two and half years, being a great lackey and servant of the Black and White, always taking beatings and providing assistance in his 'managerial' role on the outside. We all loved him at this point and he was really part of the gang. His career arguably peaked, even though he barely wrestled. Do not however be fooled into thinking he was important or significant in any way, as that would be a fatal error.



When the NWO disbanded and WCW really careered off the rails in late 1999 Vincent was stuck in a rut and clearly the writers had no job for him. At first they changed his name to Shane (yet another jab at the WWF) and threw him into shit WCW Saturday Night matches, but no one cared and it lasted about five minutes. In a last-ditch attempt to give him something to do, he was then turned into Curly Bill, a 'hilarious' new member of the West Texas Rednecks, a really wank stable led by 'Mr Perfect' Curt Hennig, 'hilarious' in that he was a black cowboy who hung around with white rednecks. Deservedly, it died almost imminently, and Mike Jones' career in the WCW was well and truly dead.



He hung around with the company a while longer as Mike Jones before being released in 2000. According to Wikipedia,
Quote:
"He has worked in the independent circuit ever since while also making regular memorabilia show and military goodwill appearances."
ObsessedwithWrestling lists the following appearances under their 'Other' section:

Quote:
# January 29, 2005 - WrestleReunion: Virgil participated in a Legends Battle Royal which was won by Greg "The Hammer" Valentine..
# Mike Jones occasionally appears at Sports Trading Card shows in the Cleveland area...
# March 5, 2006--World Wrestling Legends PPV: Rick Steiner defeated Virgil in a squash..
# April 2006: Doink The Clown (Dusty Wolfe) went on tour in Korea, Japan, Guam, and Hawaii (Virgil defeated Doink)..
These rather-wank sounding 'Sports Trading Card' shows might lead you to think he was still popular, but this could not be further from the truth. I present to you now the pay-off of this article, showing Mike 'Virgil/Vincent' Jones at one of these shitstabber-fests just last year:



As the picture shows, Mike is now truly a 'down-and-out', enjoys a 'failed career' and is now a 'wretched abortion'. Its all brilliantly funny stuff - I almost died laughing the first time I saw it. No one gives a shit about him anymore. According to a fairly recent article on WWE's website, he is currently a Maths teacher. For one there is no way this is true since we all know Virgil was constantly beaten at school and never learned anything. Secondly, even if it is, I'm sure he's been fired for breaking in a student by now. As of right now, BarnDoor predicts he's most likely dead in a ditch somewhere with a needle in his arm, a bottle of vodka in his hand and a 14" dildo rammed up his crack.

Poor old Mike eh lads?
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"Now I absolutely despise the murderer Herzog. I tell him to his face that I want to see him perish like the llama he executed. He should be thrown to the crocodiles alive! An anaconda should throttle him slowly! The sting of a deadly spider should paralyze him! His brain should burst from the bite of the most poisonous of all snakes! Panthers shouldn't slit his throat open with their claws, that would be too good for him! No. Big red ants should piss in his eyes, eat his balls, penetrate his asshole, and eat his guts! He should get the plague! Syphilis! Malaria! Yellow fever! Leprosy! In vain. The more I wish the most horrible of deaths on him and treat him like the scum of the earth that he is, the less I can get rid of him!" - Kinski on Herzog


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Old 27-01-2009, 11:45   #2
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Virgil is God.

Didn't you post this ages ago?
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Old 27-01-2009, 11:48   #3
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That's brilliant. The good ol' days of wrestling. Well the days I actually watched the crap.
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Old 27-01-2009, 12:04   #4
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TheBishop View Post
Virgil is God.

Didn't you post this ages ago?
Yes, but I'm putting all of them in this tread for the sake of ease.

Now a wrestler i actually like, a good athlete with one of the best sculpted bodies in the history of wrestling and had everything going for him but is now hit rock bottom and probably at this very moment spreading his arse cheeks to punters in underground men's toilets for a few dollars. Today is the turn of:

LAURENCE WENDELL PFOHLl, BEST KNOWN AS LEX LUGER IN THE WWF/E and IN WCW

Laurence began his career in 1985 in the NWA Florida territory. He scored a victory at Halloween Havoc 1985, then later fought the then NWA champion Ric Flair to a draw after a sixty minute match and fought in a legendary Steel Cage match with Bruiser Brody where Brody stopped co-operating with Luger, so Lex left the ring and soon went to work in WCW in 1987:



Luger became the total package and soon joined the Four Horsemen, where the gash was kicked out of the horseman amongst much back stabbing. He fought Flair at the Great American Bash '88 and lost in a very controversial manner. After a defeat at Starrcade two months later Luger became a stale vaginal matter that was stuck defending the US title against other likewise shitstabber who had no real right to live. Sting often got injured and they brought the blond haired snatch in as a replacement but the fans didn't really give two shits:



Further wank developed. Flair left and took the title with him and luger was thrown into a wank feud with Barry Windham and then a racial type feud with Ron Simmons which was equally cancerous. The WCW didn't really want the cunt and who could blame them? Luger left and soon signed to WWE in the World Bodybuilding Federation owned by Vinny Mac and we all know how well that wank did. Luger became the a heel and later became an american hero type which no one gave three shits about. His body was pumped so much with steroids he probably didn't give a shit anyway. He was to win the title at Wrestlemania X against Yokozuna but got pissed off his head and started telling people of the outcome. Word soon spread and the title aspirations of Luger was fucking extinct and his career in WWE fucking died as he was thrown later into an allied powers type tag team with a long haired pissflap called the British Bulldog. No one cared and very soon Lex was off down South to suck off Sting:



Luger joined WCW again in 1995. Bischoff didn't really want him there and but his old rimmer Sting helped him out for some reason, probably sexual. Yet by mid 96 Luger was very popular as he and a few other big names led WCW in the war against the NWO. Luger got battered at Fall Brawl, but still held out against overwhelming forces when it was surely better if he had lay down and fucking died. But he was still popular and managed to win the WCW/NWO title from Hogan in August 1997 and lost it six days later proving his wankness:



Lex later became a member of the NWO Wolfpac which was wank but he was till liked. He later joined an NWO coalition which was ok for a few weeks but later died and although lex made you laugh, you wished the NWO would have raped him and hacked his head off:



In 1999 he hung around like a bad smell and later joined a wank thing called the "Magnificent Seven" but quite frankly no one cared about that or lex by that point. In 2002 he was presumed dead but sadly was seen alive in some indy wrestling fed acting the cunt. In 2003 old liz, macho man's ex bit of minge was found dead, they say it was drugs but i have it on stings word that Lex fucked her to death and then tortured racked her until police kicked him unconscious. These sad pictures says it all about the vadge, looking a right paedo by all accounts:



He was held in jail for a while probably getting arse assaulted by cons. Lex was last seen in TNA making a twat out of himself as some kind of potential partner of sting but no one cared at all. In a nice twist he recently had a spinal strike and remains in a wheelchair. Lex also found God, but unfortunately God didn't find him. He is currently believed to be living in a cardboard box in Virginia calling for sting to help him fight the NWO but is most likely dead in a canal with his wheelchair up his crack after being kicked to death by skater kids who were right to do it. Sadly he has a myspace account and i suggest you lot go there and give the cunt some much deserved abuse, its lexlugeronmyspace if you are interested, or at least it was anyway before he was brutally sodomized and had his throat slashed yesterday by a gang of rent boys who he refused to pay after a night of violent coke-fuelled orgies with Liz's corpse.
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"Now I absolutely despise the murderer Herzog. I tell him to his face that I want to see him perish like the llama he executed. He should be thrown to the crocodiles alive! An anaconda should throttle him slowly! The sting of a deadly spider should paralyze him! His brain should burst from the bite of the most poisonous of all snakes! Panthers shouldn't slit his throat open with their claws, that would be too good for him! No. Big red ants should piss in his eyes, eat his balls, penetrate his asshole, and eat his guts! He should get the plague! Syphilis! Malaria! Yellow fever! Leprosy! In vain. The more I wish the most horrible of deaths on him and treat him like the scum of the earth that he is, the less I can get rid of him!" - Kinski on Herzog
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Old 27-01-2009, 15:14   #5
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HH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprentice

Damn now there was a guy I enjoyed watching. Got anything on IRS, Razor Ramon or even Jim Neidhart or Marty Jannetty? I know Jannetty appeared on Raw once a few years back.
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Old 27-01-2009, 15:29   #6
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None of those, but Jake's next.
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"Now I absolutely despise the murderer Herzog. I tell him to his face that I want to see him perish like the llama he executed. He should be thrown to the crocodiles alive! An anaconda should throttle him slowly! The sting of a deadly spider should paralyze him! His brain should burst from the bite of the most poisonous of all snakes! Panthers shouldn't slit his throat open with their claws, that would be too good for him! No. Big red ants should piss in his eyes, eat his balls, penetrate his asshole, and eat his guts! He should get the plague! Syphilis! Malaria! Yellow fever! Leprosy! In vain. The more I wish the most horrible of deaths on him and treat him like the scum of the earth that he is, the less I can get rid of him!" - Kinski on Herzog
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:28   #7
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"BarnDoor's Wrestling Down-and-Out Club", aka "BarnDoor's Abortion of the Week"

And the third member of the club is (Drum roll please).......

AURELIAN SMITH JR., BEST KNOWN AS JAKE 'THE SNAKE' ROBERTS IN THE WWF/E AND WCW

Jake began his wretched career in 1975, winning the Mid-South North American Heavyweight title in 1981. He then wrestled for Georgia Championship Wrestling, where his fame grew under Paul Ellering's Legion of Doom stable. He soon won the NWA National Television title from the old cancer Ronny Garvin, who he soon feuded in. Around 1984 he is purported to have invented the DDT by accident, and his legendary finisher was born. Seeing his talent, Vinnie Mac brought him to the WWF in 1986:



Worryingly, one can see traces of a shit build in the above picture but Jake improved his physique and was brought in originally as a heel. Jake now begins to bring his pet python Damien to the ring, earning him his famous monicker. He quickly gets into a feud with Ricky Steamboat, most notably rather hilariously DDT'ing him onto the concrete floor, knocking him completely unconcious in a match! His success warranted a feud with Hogan, but the fans were cheering him so Vince decided to it best he turn face.



At Wrestlemania III Jake was accompanied by Alice Cooper where he played Honky Tonk Man, and by now was immensely popular. Frankly there was no one (arguably ever) better on the mic, he had great music, charisma, a tremendous finishing move, excellent ability and an unforgettable gimmick. He had a weekly slot called 'The Snake Pit', which saw him entertain guests like the Honky Tonk Man and crazy bastards like Kamala amongst others. He also had many memorable feuds in this era with the likes of Andre the Giant (88-89), Rick Rude (88) and the Million Dollar Man Ted Dibiase (89-90). In late 1990 he was sprayed in the eyes with Rick Martel's perfume on Brother Love's segment, 'blinding' him in one eye. Their feud culminated in the memorable first-ever blindfold match at Wrestlemania VII, which Jake won. Here he was at the height of his popularity.



Soon Earthquake squashed and 'killed' Damien, and a distraught Jake soon turned heel after betraying the Ultimate Warrior and aligning with the Undertaker. He had a new snake, Lucifer, and started what is arguably his most notorious feud, with Macho Man Randy Savage at Summerslam 1991, when he and the Undertaker crashed his wedding, and forcing the Macho Man to come out of retirement and defend his honour. In late 1991 after a match jake insulted macho man with the latter running to the ring. Savage was tied up in the rope and Roberts let loose a devenomized Cobra on him, drawing blood from his arm. It was quite shocking at the time, but the feud never got the big time pay off it deserved, ending rather wankly on a Saturday Night's Main Event rather than at Wrestlemania VIII, which it deserved to. Instead Jake got into a war with Undertaker and backstage politics (he was apparently offered a writer's job which Vince changed his mind on) meant their match at Wrestlemania VIII in 1992, which Jake lost, was his last in the WWE. It is also worth noting he changed his music to a really shit remix of his classic one where he kept saying "Trust me, trust me" in the background, which could well have sealed his fate. He could do heel and face just as good, but the fans loved him more than anything and heel just wasn't really suited for him. It is widely considered a travesty that Jake here, in his peak and easily one of the top three faces of the era alongside Hogan and the Warrior never won a major title. He jumped ship to WCW in mid-1992, and this is where things get funny as Jake's life goes widely downhill.



Straight away Jake feuded with Sting for most of the year in WCW, culminating in a Coal Miners Glove match at Halloween Havoc 1992, which Jake lost. Things did not work out however and he left the company in early 1993. Any chance of success for Jake had no been lost and his career took a sharp nosedive into a huge barrel of steaming shit. He wrestled in Smokey Mountain Wrestling in 1994, winning the Smokey Mountain Heavyweight title, which no one gave a shit about, and in the same year he lost to Konnan in the AAA in a 'Hair vs. Hair' match, thus having to shave his head and leading many people to believe, given his growingly disgusting appearance that he actually had cancer. Jake spent a year and a half doing fuck all, and possibly blew men for cash, which he blew on drink and drugs before confronting his 'demons' by finding God in late 1995 (supposedly), an angle exploited by the WWF when he returned to the company at Royal Rumble 1996. ALLLLLLRRRRRRRRRIIIIIIIIIIIGGG GGGGGGHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTTT, JAKE'S BACK!!!!!



Except this wasn't the Jake we all knew and loved - his weight had spiralled out of control and though he never had the best of physique's Jake was truly now a fat bastard abortion who should have died along ago. If oen looks they can see immense gut protruding through his shirt, but at least mercifully he decided to wear one. The cancer rumours were unfortunately not true, and Jake returned with a new snake, 'Revelations'. His exit from the Rumble was truly brilliant, being eliminated by one punch which sent him half way across the ring and over the ropes from the debuting Vader. He now teamed up with Ahmed Johnson and Yokozuna to fight Cornette's faggot brigade of Vader, Owen Hart and the British Bulldog at Wrestlemania XII, and he was so shit that it was he who got pinned by Vader. He lost again a month later as In Your House 7, teaming with Johnson again against Bulldog and Owen, giving us great amusement as he tapped out to a rather pathetic looking leg hold from Bulldog, which seemed to hurt Jake immesely. He then entered the KOTR tournament, beating HHH in a qualifying match and advancing to the Semis to face Vader. Vader destroyed Jake in a stunningly funny match but got himself disqualified, sending a badly injured Jake to the final to face Austin. For the 41 year old, it seemed as though a 'Cinderella Man' style story was on the cards, especially when Gorilla came out half way through the final to give Jake time to recover and launch an assault on Austin. But in a largely one-sided match Austin regained control and delivered the finest stunner of all time to ensure that Jake's renaissance died as quickly as it started. As he was carried to the back, Austin sat on his throne triumphantly, mocking Jake's bible bashing antics with the line:

"You talk about your psalms and your John 3:16's, well Austin 3:16 says I just whipped your ass!"

And thus, out of Jake's shitness, a legendary catchphrase was born. And then it truly went downhill.



The WWF had no idea what to do with a fat gash like Jake now and so they decided to throw him in a war with Mankind, which due to Jake being so unconditioned and unfit never materialized due to an injury, and we were robbed of what could have been a really funny Jake defeat. Jerry Lawler began to mock Jake's drink problem, and the pair feuded until Summerslam, where Jake suffered the utter ignamony of losing to The King, getting raw booze poured down his throat. He kept fading until Survivor Series, appearing on Marc Mero's team along with a debuting Rocky Maivia and the equally cancerous Stalker, played by Barry Windham - it was arguably the worst team in Survivor Series history. Jake eliminted Lawler with a DDT before finding himself on the wrong end of Crush's heart punch, and how we all nearly died laughing at Jake's reaction - he always made it look like it really hurt him. More concerningly, Jake came out topless, a truly appalling decision as he had tits and guts for days on end. He memorably shouted "We're really doing it!" shortly before his elimination. He had one last hurrah at Royal Rumble 1997, again minus top and dignity, but thankfully for all Austin eliminated him by backdropping him over the top rope while he attempted a DDT. With this, Jake's second run the WWF was over after a year filled with wank, one where he ruined a legacy and had became a fat disgusting rotting beared pissflap.



Jake made a couple of brief appearances in ECW in 1998, and went through all sorts of highly amusing problems in his private life - drink, drugs, break ups, family issues - mostly illustrated in the 'Beyond the Mat' documentary, where he comes across as a true down and out. He supposedly once wrestled for cocaine, which is the most down and out truly worthless shitstabbing act I've ever come across for a wrestler, and one of course of true hilarity. He moved to the UK in 2002 and wrestled at various shit federations here, proving his lack of talent now, and even appearing on Trisha, rather ironic considering the wretched abortions of society she has on her show, so Jake fitted right it. In early 2004 he was arrested for apparently starving his latest snake, another Damien to death, but escaped prison. He moved back to the US though and in early 2005 was arrested in Georgia for cocaine possession. In March 2005 he appeared on a RAW looking like a fat gash and was deservedly RKO'd by Randy Orton:



He worked with WWE and his shit-smelling DVD, 'Pick Your Poison', which we all laughed at and most likely only made about £10 from it, which he probably blew on drugs, drink, sex and young boys anyway. He went to TNA with the Original Sinn, who tried to sell a storyline of Jake being his manager, which, with good sense, TNA turned down. Most recently he appeared intoxicated at an indy event, and cried backstage afterwards, confirming his worthlessness. As of now he's currently wrestling in many wank insignificant wrestling federations which no one gives two shits about. Unfortunately therefore we know his whereabouts, which is a tremendous shame as we now know he is not dead, though we all wish he was. The sooner he drinks himself to death this world will be a greater place, as this former 'Legend' of the sport has tarnished his reputation irreversibly and should have died long ago, way before his 1996 comeback, which was about as good as eating a plate of blood-filled, shit smelling tampons. Mark my words he'll be dead soon, and I think that would put a smile on all our faces, the minge-loving cunt.

ADDENDUM:

I hear Jake actually lives in St. Albans these days. Tragically Jake was led down an alley by a trail of Smarties and kicked to death by a gang of chavs. He managed to take a couple with him with a double DDT to the concrete but they brutally snuffed his life out by cutting off his head with a Stanley knife. A sad end to a wretched gash mountain of a life.
__________________
"Now I absolutely despise the murderer Herzog. I tell him to his face that I want to see him perish like the llama he executed. He should be thrown to the crocodiles alive! An anaconda should throttle him slowly! The sting of a deadly spider should paralyze him! His brain should burst from the bite of the most poisonous of all snakes! Panthers shouldn't slit his throat open with their claws, that would be too good for him! No. Big red ants should piss in his eyes, eat his balls, penetrate his asshole, and eat his guts! He should get the plague! Syphilis! Malaria! Yellow fever! Leprosy! In vain. The more I wish the most horrible of deaths on him and treat him like the scum of the earth that he is, the less I can get rid of him!" - Kinski on Herzog
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:31   #8
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HH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprentice

Good ol' Jake. Good one Barn, read bits of it and interesting enough.

These members, you dont really like them?
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:38   #9
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Hahaha! I used to think Jake 'The Snake' Roberts was great. I even had a toy of him, with a shitty rubber snake and everything.

I'd like to find out what Jimmy Snuka and The Legion Of Doom are up to.
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:41   #10
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BarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post countBarnDoor is aiming for Dragonfly's post count

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Originally Posted by HammerHead View Post
Good ol' Jake. Good one Barn, read bits of it and interesting enough.

These members, you dont really like them?
I love Jake and Lex, but that doesn't mean I can't laugh at their lives stinking of shit these days. I also love this man:

RANDALL MARIO POFFO, BEST KNOWN AS THE "MACHO MAN" RANDY SAVAGE IN THE WWF/E AND WCW

Randy Savage was at first a wank baseball player. He injured his right arm and began to train with his left, and we may presume that probably mass wanking sessions helped him with his south paw stance. He got into the wrestling scene with his pissflap-faced brother Lanny Poffo who you lot would know as the Genius. They entered the wrestling scene in the early 1970's and, after a wank few years in a poffo promotion which was shit and a turn in Memphis, soon headed their way north to the WWF and randy had just tagged himself a nice piece of arse in Miss Elizabeth, probably rutting her all the way to New York while Lanny lowered his ball bags into Liz mouth.



His brother became a shit jobber, which was a bit of a shame really as he did actually have talent and was quite an athlete but no one gives a shit so i'll get back to his brother Randy. Macho Man made his PPV debut at the Wrestling Classic in 1985, a big event for the time period. In 1986 he won the IC title from Tito "Rancid Mexican slice" Santana thanks to an illegal weapon. In 1987 he had one of the best matches of his career and arguably one of the greatest of all time against Ricky Steamboat with that hairy cunt George "The animal" Steele throwing his green tongue about when we all know he wanted it up liz's vadge and Savage lost his title to Steamboat via a small package.



After Wrestlemania 3, Savage became quite popular, especially after being helped out by Hulk Hogan in a beatdown by the Hart Foundation and Honky Tonk Man. At Wrestlemania 4, with the aid of Hogan, he won the final of the World Championship tournament by beating the Million Dollar Man. This victory saw the cementation of the Mega Powers who probably recieved god-like powers by having constant threesomes with liz and maybe Brutus Beefcake possibly joining in. Hogan and savage would battle the Million Dollar Man, Andre the Giant and also the Twin Towers over the following months before Savage, jealous of Hogan, attacked him after he believed Hogan wanted liz. Savage would lose his title at Wrestlemania 5, and afterwards liz would be off on anyone's side who wanted her, as savage was stuck rimming Zeus, eating out Sherri's stale cooze, and finally becoming the top heel King Savage, who would later war with Dusty Rhodes and the Ultimate Warrior. The latter would force savage into retirement after a career ending match at Wrestlemania 7, where he confessed his love for Liz, turned face again and left some fat gashes crying in the crowd:



Macho would come out of retirement to war with jake roberts after the cunt interrupted his wedding to that gash liz and would also use a cobra to bite randy and possibly (although not certain) shove a python up savage's mothers anal passage. He would also win the World Title of Ric Flair at Wrestlemania 8 before losing it again to the Nature Boy soon after. We all loved randy but after this event his career in the WWF went wank. After commentating and getting into war with Crush which no one gave two shits about, he moved on to WCW in late 94 with a huge money deal, a 6 million dollar contract with the bearded cunt Ted Turner.



Savage teamed up with Hogan to battle the Dungeon of Doom under their leader Kevin Sullivan, a midget-like shit stabber who no one ever liked. He battled against the likes of Zodiac, Shark and other tampons no one gave a flying fuck about and rightly so. He also warred with Ric Flair with Flair battering his wrinkled up father Angelo which is very funny as we all thought ric had killed him at one point. Sadly he lived which took the humour slightly from the incident. The Mega Powers would aid each other on and off and look really great while doing it, becoming WCW's top men along with Sting:



In mid 1996 the NWO formed and battered savage on many occasions and force him out of action in October. He would return four months later at Superbrawl and rather insanely join the NWO and help hogan cane that old minge Roddy piper. At this point we all loved savage as gang beatings were given to many WCW superstars by him and the NWO. He would feud with DDP later on in the year with some good, very rough matches and must have forced himself on Kimberly at some point. In early 1998 he decided to be a gash and leave the NWO and would later be in the shit Wolfpac which we all hated.



It was at this point savage went down hill faster than fluke's mother on punters. He took an injury and was out of commision and would later return for a brief cameo in an NWO/WCW fight in an NWO shirt and turn on the NWO. This didn't make much sense and we didn't see him again until spring stampede 99, where he looked like he had steroid cancer as he was huge and looked a cunt. He would have some slags team up with him but there names are not important lets just say we would shit on their tits and then facial them. He would hang around with Sid but by then we didn't give a shit what the dyed hair, balding, bearded shit-smelling snatch did. He feuded with Kevin Nash but left a few months later when that cunt Russo arrived and killed WCW. He left with his bandana's, Hogan's collection of male dildos and his brother's corpse under his arm and fucked off:



Savage appeared in Spiderman during this time out but no one cared. Much more funny was his sad and frankly blood-filled socket attempt at a rap album. Entitled "Be a rancid axe wound", Savage rapped about his hatred of hogan, how he really killed liz and how his dad use to stick his dick in savage's arse when he was put in a boston crab by his brother lanny. That, and his 'Perfect Friend' Curt Hennig, a song which, if Curt had ever heard, probably would have finished him off anyway:



He would attempt a comeback in TNA in 2004 but he stunk like a shit-filled nappy still attached to the dead baby after it had shit its pants when it was left in the lion cage in West Midlands Safari Park before it was eaten and shitted back out. No one knew who the cunt was and looking like he had grown some kind of pubic hair beard and devoid of most of his hair, who could blame them? In 2005 he told some paper he had hurt his back but no one gave a shit by this point. WWE sources say he may be in line for a Hall of Fame slot, which although deserved probably won't happen as Vince hates savage after apparently Savage fucked his daughter's (yes, Stephanie) pre-teen twat at a party but of course that is probably wank.



He is said to be clean shaven now and living under a bridge in Louisiana. He often screams "Oh Yeah" to passing travellers who usually laugh and chuck the drunken cunt some spare change. Sadly a group of skinheads jumped him and kicked and stamped him to death last week. He was buried in a bin bag, with his body wrapped in one of his wank robes before being chucked into the missisippi to be eaten by alligators, rats and other animals. A sad day if i or anyone else gave a gash.
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"Now I absolutely despise the murderer Herzog. I tell him to his face that I want to see him perish like the llama he executed. He should be thrown to the crocodiles alive! An anaconda should throttle him slowly! The sting of a deadly spider should paralyze him! His brain should burst from the bite of the most poisonous of all snakes! Panthers shouldn't slit his throat open with their claws, that would be too good for him! No. Big red ants should piss in his eyes, eat his balls, penetrate his asshole, and eat his guts! He should get the plague! Syphilis! Malaria! Yellow fever! Leprosy! In vain. The more I wish the most horrible of deaths on him and treat him like the scum of the earth that he is, the less I can get rid of him!" - Kinski on Herzog
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:42   #11
HH
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HH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprentice

LoD had a bit of a stint a few years back, well at least Animal did with Heidenrich. Hawk is dead I think.

That was for Dragonfly.
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:51   #12
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Dragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusDragonfly is now aiming for Zygalski God-like status

Is that Sid Vicious in the third from bottom picture, with Macho? Man, there have been some great characters.

I'm hoping for a bit of Brutus The Barber Beefcake and Jimmy Hart (if he counts).
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:55   #13
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Joel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like statusJoel is now aiming for Zygalski God-like status

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Originally Posted by Dragonfly View Post
Hahaha! I used to think Jake 'The Snake' Roberts was great. I even had a toy of him, with a shitty rubber snake and everything.

I'd like to find out what Jimmy Snuka and The Legion Of Doom are up to.
I had that toy too

Will be doing any new ones of these since you have your own thread for them, Barn?
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:55   #14
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HH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprenticeHH is Joel or Hunter's apprentice

Yeah that is

Now thats why i loved Randy Savage. Shame hes never gonna be in that Legends of Wrestlemania game coming up. Him and Steamboat was an epic match and was one of the best ive ever seen and probably the best in WM history. How Vince cant recognise that instead of the thought of Stephanie getting rammed by Savage is beyond me.
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Old 27-01-2009, 23:59   #15
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Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.Bish is most likely an Admin or a Mod. Or a blight on the PESGaming community.

I'm eagerly anticipating IRS.

I've actually got that Jake DVD, though it was a free gift.
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