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Leaked Transcript of Phil Brown Rant
The harsh words of Hull City Manger Phil Brown has come into my possession after a brief, brutal sexual encounter with his assistant Brian Horton in the toilets of the popular deviant nightclub, the Flaming Arse Bandit, in Lincoln. Here are the details:
Phil Brown: What the fuck was that all about lads? Where going down quicker than Boateng's whore of a mother! I bring on Doyle and in ten minutes he has already proved to me he will never play again! Boateng: Boss I really must protest..... Phil Brown: Who told you to stop sucking? Boateng: Sorry Boss Phil Brown: I have never seen a more out of shape, talentless hasbin of a fucking performance and thats just Dean Windass! He would have scored if he didn't trip up over his own tits! Windass: I'm in the same shape as Wayne Rooney! Phil Brown: He has ability Dean. Brian? Get rid of this fat repulsive cunt eh? Horton: Sure Boss [Horton drags the overweight bastard and launches him into a hostile mob of Hull fans . He is tore apart and eaten by the deranged northerners who applaud Browns first half time decision] Brown: Now where was I? Ah yes. The shit performance! Boaz you were fucking shit and better off dead! Boaz: Thanks Phil Brown: Go fuck yourself! The defence? I may as well have had a group of kids out there if i didn't think Nick Barmby would try sexually assaulting one of them! Barmby: I'm not even playing! You know I have no talent! Brown: SILENCE! [Brown backhands the now crying Barmby and continues his vicious tirade] Brown: Mendy? Wank! Turner? Gash! Zayatte? Who the fuck is he? McShane? Bog headed Mick! [ The players nod and agree with the managers assessment] Brown: Geovanni? You've kicked nothing in the first half! If you want practice, boot Marney or Ashbee, they are both shit and could do with it Marney: I'm sorry for being talentless Boss Brown: Your wife is gonna get a shafting tonite, you do know that? Ashbee: What about mine? Whats wrong with her? Brown: She's dead Ian! Now Marlon, I'm going to bring on a decent striker in the second half to help you. Its old Fagan King: He's fucking wank Boss! Anyway didn't Guthrie kill him at St James? Brown: Sadly no but what you going to do eh? Now get out there and play football. We don't want people thinking where just a team of jammy fucking cunts now do we? Fagan: Boss this means alot. I know I have no ability but I'll try my best Brown: Craig I'm not even listening. I know your shit but this game is over and I may as well make it a white wash You owe these poor simpletons some kind of performance! They have to sell fucking organs to get tickets! Just kick it about and don't concede anymore or else will be fucking lynched! Now if you don't mind I'm off to sodomise Brian. Fuck knows I can't get it up for the wife anymore |
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"Boaz : Thanks phil"
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:chanlaugh:
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Quality that. |
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Quality, Dean Windass must be in the running for the third Annual BarnDoor Award for Excellence in the Field of Fat Cuntness.
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Class that
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:chanlaugh:
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Quality that.
