The 'Dead Dad Special'

[Michu]

Originally Posted by ThierryHenry14

Your posts seem really angry recently, everything ok Sminks?

Of course. I'm just a rancid old cunt who likes a good swear.

Originally Posted by BarnDoor

Hang on he's burying his dad today? Blimey that was quick. Was he Muslim? Either way Jermain can't care that much since he'll be available for the France game. Surely it's meant to be? If England as a team can channel the power of Auschwitz - and we know this is possible when we consider Avram's victory over Liverpool in the semi-finals of the Champions League - there will be no stopping them.

I suspect he flew back to England to check he was dead and it wasn't a family scam to squeeze cash out of him.

Doctor: "Here is the body Mr Defoe"
Jermain: "Yes! It's him! Thank fuck, the cancerous skag bag has finally died"
Generic Football Agent: "Jermain, you probably need to give it a couple of days to milk public sympathy."
Jermain: "When's the France match?"
Generic Football Agent: "Monday"
Jermain: "Fuck it, no one is going to buy into this bollocks anyhow. I'm going back to Poland to be racially abused on the subs bench"

[Dragonfly]

All I want to know is, did Defoe get rid of that stupid hair of his in time for the funeral? If I was his dad's soul watching over the funeral proceedings and I saw my son turn up with a head like pissed on Guinness, I'd resurrect myself and would crack his skull until the blood covers the hair.