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Inspector Badger on the front of PES4, and umdiddley on the front of WE8. Or would that incite racism? ;)

Was this before or after the cross-quarter play in the third half of the second quarter? The offence of the players was simply amazing, with the ball flying through like a gen-you-whine Arkansas greased pig. Joanne, are you a Yank? Or do females say "Boom" at football strikes?

OK, to clarify: There are two sets of "retired" players in the game: those who play for Classic Teams (namely Argentina, Brazil, England, France, Netherlands, and Germany), and those who are individually bought from the PES-Shop for 150 points each. The "COM Acquire Retired Players" option...

It just goes to show that bullshit is noticed. I wouldn't have thought that Zygalski would've been there because when he says something it's useful. Trezeguet just sticks out like a really sore thumb with a big arrow pointing at it. A floating arrow, that is self-illuminant in the dark, for...

The Attack stat improves their positional sense, rather like "Off The Ball" in Championship Manager - it makes their movement and finding of space up-front better. The Defence stat improves tackling - simple as. They will commit fouls less often and will get the ball more often.

There isn't any evidence of racism, because there hasn't been any - if you go around typing in txtspk, making ridiculous threads about conducting testing on yourself, and rubbishing people's work in a hypocritical way, then you're going to end up being called a twat. Repeatedly. The idea that...

You see, it's because of my saga that everyone's asking this. But I'm back to my original, which is now a classic, so it's all good.

Oh, leave it out. If a little jest puts off a member, then they have very little self-belief or sense of humour, in which case a person of that type should not be allowed outside of bars, let alone onto a messageboard to interact with others. Trying to blame me. Meh.

I thought I was being quite friendly-ish. I'll make a concerted effort to be nice from now on.

As Alvin said, there's not enough funny people to sustain a humour board. Use Off Topic for all your musings, or amusings, depending on which end of the humour spectrum you belong to.

I think he did mean you, Badger. In which case I feel stupid.

Also, you'll be really annoyed when you do about six teams and then realise "Ruud Van Nistelrooy" doesn't fit, and so you have to make exceptions, which as a result look wrong, because they're different from the majority. Stick to surnames, especially if you use the "Player Name" cursor. Or...

I forgot to turn up. Completely slipped my mind. :D

One?

Ah, but I have it in me to be less of a joker, and more serious and efficient. Still, I'll leave it at that, and if you decide that you do need a new Moderator, and if you feel I'm appropriate, then I would want to do it. :D

Either play for quite a few seasons, or use something known as "The Pre-Game Editor." I'm sure jag done it via the former. ;)

I didn't say I'd be the best possible Mod, or that out of everyone on the boards I was most suited. I simply said I thought I'd make a good one. Putting words in my mouth when I haven't even said them is a skill Giggsy, not to be attempted unless you're feeling very brave. ;)

Zygalski's decided to dislike me because of my recent inappropriate musings. There's one thing he's forgetting: it's not up to him! ;)

I like Lucy better. Joanne's not as good.

If for no other reason, then so I can close those stupid wrestling threads, that nobody likes. Except Harry-Kewell. But he's a Liverpool fan, so there you go. Well, actually, I genuinely believe I'd make a good moderator of a forum. Off Topic would be the ideal, but I think if I was made a...