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I've got 13 at the minute. I scored a bicycle kick the other day (looked more like a scissor to me), but the diving header still eludes me.

The problem was giving the other team 3 and 6 goal head starts. Now I don't know about you, but at that stage I'm trying all sorts of things to try and make a difference. Being as I usually don't get to play as strikers, I still think my goal ratio is highly impressive, and I bet you my VP...

Miggy I should say that when I mentioned bad defending that wasn't specifically aimed at you, I doubt I would have done better, I'm just saying it's not like you can really pinpoint a bad performance in those two defeats.

I resent that wholeheartedly, to the point of telling you to go fuck yourself. I scored two goals last night, a ton for the team overall, look at the assists, many come from my VP. Aside from his pace, there is no real part of his game lacking - crossing, passing, finishing, long shots...

Would this be the same headless chicken who put you clean through in that game where we were 3-0, to bring back to 3-3? I hardly had a touch in those games admittedly, but there were moments. I play best on ANY, you saw that in the 4-1 game.

You're not on the request to sign list mate, no one is. And I appreciate the mighty address, but Phatmann is the head honcho - or at least we allow him to think he is.

Problem is when the CPU defenders decide to either push up and not get close enough to their fellow defender, leaving huge gaps.

So you noticed my shit driven efforts. I'm not great at free kicks, I've scored 2 but am desperately trying to get a few more to boost my accomplishments. I will hand them to you in future. The 4-3 was a cunt ripper. I was hoping we'd hold it up a bit more near the end because I panic in the...

Your best position is on the bench. If this was a real team, you'd be cleaning boots.

So basically you want the club to change its entire formation - which has brought considerable success - just to suit your VP? You know I've never noticed this before Dale, but you really are turning into a selfish bastard.

Problem is, I assign free kick takers, and the game just ignores me.

Yes he is

To be honest Original I think it was because in at least 3 of the games there was some real heavy lag.

The one time I did a diving header the keeper saved it. Since then, fuck all.

I can't score a bicycle kick or diving header for the life of me.

I'm waiting for HMV - I want my night vision goggles.

Tip - to get your stats up, just play a 20 minute game against Accrington Stanley. I scored 5 headers in one match.

Well once my throw in got a touch off the keeper but I was credited with it. The fact that I got the accomplishment for scoring from 30 yards suggests to me if it went in direct it would count. First one to do it online should be blown.

Fiendishly brilliant.

As far as I know nothing, I scored a header last night and got both simultaneously.