THE OMEN MEETS MR A-MAZIN
Osman Idris was crowned the new PESLeague Champion on Saturday, having battled against his younger bruv, Mazin Idris, in a dramatic end-to-end final... surprisingly with no time wasting! Tottenham's Jermain Defoe dropped by to hand out the prizes too. Gosh.
It was a bright, clear and sunny day on Saturday 24 September; perfect conditions for viewing London from the capital's iconic BT Tower. Nobody was allowed on the roof, however, so the 32 finalists made do with peering from the windows of the circular hospitality suite. Yes, it was a sight for sore eyes and there were plenty of those too, especially the folks who'd travelled from Belfast and Edinburgh.
When yours truly arrived at just before 11am, and after being searched at the door which is always cool, I found a bunch of people already waiting in the err... waiting room I guess you could call it. Peter Willis was kind enough to make me feel welcome, having remembered me from last year's visit to Newcastle. Everyone else was pretending to watch the TV, avoiding eye contact as much as possible. I knew then that today was going to be taken very seriously. Note: The Idris brothers, Ian Megahey and the Adegboye's were yet to arrive, so the circus was yet to roll into town!
One stupidly quick ride in an elevator later, scooping our brains off the ceiling and hoping we'd got the correct ones, the first of the finalists stepped into the hospitality suite and wasted no time putting in some last-minute practice on the various pods. The proceedings were to begin precisely at 12.00, even though a few people had dropped out it would still be a tight job to have the Grand Final take place before the imposed 6.00pm deadline.
Qualifying for the finals was brutal but necessary. Only one person would qualify from each of the eight groups. There were to be some disappointments, but no real surprises. Here's a brief recap of what went down at the group stage:
GROUP ONE
Mazin Idris (London) 6
Matt O'Neil (Belfast) 4
Asas Ali (Unknown) 4
Phil Kwok (Brighton) 3
Matt Holmes was unable to make it down from Newcastle, so mystery man Asas Ali stepped up to take Matt's place and almost topped the group! With the one and only A-Mazin Idris in this group everyone had their work cut out. Mazin lost once and started moaning that his luck had run out. Plainly it hadn't. I wanted Matt to win because he was wearing his Arsenal shirt, but never mind. Phil returned to his place on one of the enormous bean bags with a look of 'that was that' on his face. He'd missed not one but two penalties in one of the games, which could've seen him through to the QFs!
GROUP TWO
Shui Ip (Leeds) 7
Lee Adshead (Bristol) 7
Edeal Ghafoor (Leeds) 3
Ian Megahey (Belfast) 0
'I lost one game 5-1, that was my best result I'd say', Ian Megahey joked after being bumped out of Group Two in record time. Lee Adshead had the smarts to put pressure on Shui Ip who probably thought he'd drawn the easiest group. Their first game ended 5-5, with Lee clawing back to draw level after being 5-2 down. Their play-off ended up 4-0 to Shui, despite Lee's valiant efforts throughout the first half. You know how it is, your teams' spirits drop and it's all down hill from there. We put it down to Shui being the seasoned campaigner who can soak up the pressure that much better. Watching Lee's father's face it seemed he felt it more.
GROUP THREE
Rhys Bowen (Birmingham) 7
Tom McDowel (Liverpool) 7
Dwaine Niles (Croydon) 3
Peter Willis (Newcastle) 0
Unsung hero of the day, Rhys Bowen, caught the attention of Oz Idris by insisting on playing as Turkey. And playing them wonderfully, albeit with a bit of luck on his side - three penalties and two free kicks in his game against Pete Willis. Or maybe Pete was just being plain careless? Hmm. Anyway, Oz told us that Rhys 'deserves a medal' for playing his Turkey team so well.
GROUP FOUR
Richard Marsh (Birmingham) 9
Simon Webbe (Peterborough) 6
Lee Price (Liverpool) 3
Timi Adegboye (Croydon) 0
Maybe Timi left his brain hanging like soggy tissue paper off the elevator ceiling. It certainly wasn't present for the competition this year. Timi looked helpless, like it wasn't his own hands at the controller. I promised that I wouldn't embarrass him with the details. Saved me time writing them down! Richard Marsh cheerfully won all three games. Simon Webbe had an impressive season, but wasn't quite ready for the biggest challenge of all. Next year, eh, and same goes for Lee. Timi... what the?
GROUP FIVE
Andy Marvin (Peterborough) 9
Stephen Robinson (Birmingham) 6
Ahmad Kholwadia (Liverpool) 3
Stephen Clegg (Dublin) 0
AKA the BPEG group. Andy Marvin and Stephen Robinson have faced each other on many occasions, but never as crucial as this. The luck was with Andy, I think even he would admit that it could've been his or Stephen's day, on the day, depending, etc... Ahmad seemed like he could be a threat but in the end his silent approach revealed that it was nerves rather than the quiet confidence that we read in his gaze. Would've been terrific to see Dublin ace Stephen Clegg blaze a trail here, but the tournament experience of the group's top players shone through.
GROUP SIX
Osman Idris (London) 9
Stuart Cronin (Edinburgh) 6
James Anderson (Bluewater) 3
Pin Rathore (Plymouth) 0
Plymouth ref Lee Taylor has been singing Pin Rathore's praises all season, which put an unfair amount of pressure on his shoulders to perform on the day. Of all the finalists, we think Pin felt the most disappointed by the outcome, but three games aren't a true representation of quality. Although we're sure O'man Idris would disagree most heartily. Stuart seemed happy to have finished second in this group. James 'Jigga' Anderson was able to laugh off his third place and get right behind the soon-to-be champ with a 'fair game' expression on his face.
GROUP SEVEN
Vishnu Papineni (Southend) 7
Perry Ball (London) 7
Ennis Alhasimi (Bluewater) 3
Robert McLean (Edinburgh) 0
Eminently calm Vish Papineni would be known as a Yasashi-Hito in Japan - a real gentleman who led Group Seven as a matter of course. The wheels fell of for Robert McLean, but he'd been travelling since dawn which must have played a part in his downfall. Perry did London proud by staying with Vish until the playoff, but was outplayed in the end. Despite rubbing shoulders with professional footballers and having the love of many women Ennis McLean was unable to ruffle anyone's feathers (see Ennis' photo in the Bluewater section).
GROUP EIGHT
Vikas Kapoor (Watford) 7
Richard Tandoh (London) 7
Ross Forsyth (Edinburgh) 3
Nolan Dickman (Bournemouth) 0
Bursting with energy, the kind of lad you want to boost the atmosphere of an event like this, Vikas Kapoor wound up in the playoffs against Richard Tandoh who was equally full of beans. Every missed opportunity and Rich was yelling 'Oh my days!' at the top of his voice. The game finished up 2-2 and went to penalties. This was harsh on both lads, but Richard's nerves failed him and the chance of further glory fell to Vikas. Richard went to stare at a wall for a minute or so to calm down. Not sure where it went wrong for Nolan, but it could've been the awkward viewing angle - Nolan requiring a chair due to his injured leg. Ross was another one of the Scottish dawn patrol.
THE QUARTER FINALS
Mazin Idris 2-1 Vikas Kapoor
Shui Ip 4-5 Vishnu Papineni
Rhys Bowen 2-3 Osman Idris
Richard Marsh 4-3 Andy Marvin
All the QFs were decided in normal time, saving nerves if not pride. A last minute goal gave Rich Marsh the result over BPEG acquaintance Andy Marvin. Never mind. As you can see, Osman Idris really had to work for his semi-final slot - this really proves how special Rhys's Turkey tactics were on the day, bearing in mind that Oz was playing Brazil. Mazin shouted his own encouragements to overpower Vikas whose smile was finally fading (although it as later to return). The two icemen, Shui and Vishnu, walked away from their pod looking content - the football was good for both guys, the result was Vishnu's.
THE SEMI FINALS
Mazin Idris 4-2 Richard Marsh
Vishnu Papineni 2-3 Osman Idris
By now Mazin's adrenaline must've been working his fingers on autopilot, the magic was all taking place on screen to his delight. When the fourth goal went fizzing in, onlooker Bade Ade pronounced this game to be 'over' and shuffled across to where Osman was trying to keep Vishnu from upsetting his early two-goal lead. Oz had knocked two in with only 10 minutes played on the clock, Vish eased the pain by making it 2-1 just before HT, but Oz sneaked in another seconds before the whistle. In the second half Oz began playing defensively but still pressing for that final nail in the coffin. However when Vish made it 3-2 on the hour mark, Oz resorted to fairly unsporting tactics of passing across the back four for the last 30. 'This is a travesty', commented one onlooker who we won't name. 'Just for this I want Vishnu to win,' joked Timi's brother Bade. An all Idris final then! Maybe it was always destined to be this way.
T-SHIRTS FOR THE MASSES
We had an hour to kill before the finals were staged, giving everyone who didn't perform so well at the group stages to ask for friendly rematches and earn themselves a free Bukta T-shirt. If you won, you got a shirt... a couple of guys were smart enough to drag me to a pod and make sure they got theirs! It was good to see all the guys who struggled at the group stages walking away with something. Didn't seem to be a choice of sizes though, and Richard Marsh was joking that he'd probably not fit into his!
THE FINAL
Mazin Idris 2-3 Osman Idris
Welcome to The Royle Family meets Match of the Day - Ozzy and Mazzy slumped in a couple of chairs to play a game of PES, as they often do at home. Although we doubt their chairs at home are upholstered in Union Jack flags. The guys both looked oddly comfortable to say this would be the game to decide the title. Of course the crowd were rooting for the young upstart Mazin, Oz stuck his phones in his ears to shut out the noise - probably listening to his favourite gardening program on Radio 4.
The organisers had the PS2 wired up to the house PA, the deafening noise of the Intrepid Idris Bros sorting out their formations and team strategies sounding like a hardcore pirate radio station. What happened next could be a dream for all I know, my senses were completely destroyed. Anyway, this is what may or may not have happened between Oz and Mazin Idris:
00' - It was to be Brazil v Brazil, we looked forward to some Samba Football as Oz calls it
04' - Mazin sneaks into Oz's penalty area and gets a free shot on goal, only he accidentally back passes instead. Yes, he's nervous.
12' - When the game is taken to either end of the field both lads look likely to score, and the passing and movement is fantastic. In the midfield it's mental to be fair, Mazin already going for the legs half the time. Exciting though.
15' - Ozzy gets a shot away from about 30 yards, but it flies just wide to the right. He's not pulling any punches. Richard Tandoh shouts, 'Oh my days!' It looks like he's on the phone.
21' - Unsurprisingly the brothers have similar tactics, working the channels with Ronaldinho trying to thread Ronaldo through for a striking opportunity. Deflections are scooped up by Kaka, and fed back into the midfield for another shot. Mazin tries to surprise Oz by sending a mortar bomb over the heads of the defence, but it continues its flight over the bar.
24' - Mazin is really taking it to Oz in this first half, and takes a chance from range but it sails too high once again.
28' - GOAL! Oz scores by passing to Ronaldo right across the face of goal, having let Ronaldinho to most of the work. He smashes it in, and turns to the crowd nodding. Must've been some good advice about compost through his headset, or maybe he was showing off?
34' - Like I said, the midfield was dangerous - especially for Oz. He was awarded his fifth free kick, just about within shooting distance, but the wall did its job.
36' - GOAL! Ozzy's Ronaldo is dancing around Mazzy's 18 yard box, leading all the defenders astray and luring Dida from between his posts. It looks as though Oz has practiced this a lot, as he confidently wallops the ball into the top right corner. Mazzy stands up to smile at Oz over the TV set. Richard Tandoh is indeed on the phone, and he's giving whoever it is on the other end a running commentary of the game. It's a wrong number, but it sounds really exciting so the guy on the other end stays on to listen
ST - What with all the fouls, the first half has a fair bit of added time. Mazin gets an opportunity just before the whistle but it hits the post. 'Oh my daaays!' yells Tandoh down the phone.
2ND HALF
45' - We're all deaf again after the break, more formation changes and only God knows what else. Oz tunes into the day's Shipping Forecast and we're off...
50' - Mazin is trying something a bit different, dribbling into Ozzy's third of the pitch with Kaka - Ozzy can't touch him and a chance opens up for Ronaldo. The ball is sneaked through the tiniest of gaps in defence but Dida scoops up the ball before Ronaldo gets a toe to it.
54' - Richard Tandoh is still relaying everything to Granny Smith down the blower. Mazzy thwacks another against the post after a nervy goalmouth scramble.
61' - GOAL! Mazzy gets his first, and tells his brother 'you're gonna get beat!' It's a sweat goal, almost walked in after some lightning passes from the half way line.
66' - GOAL! Oz lobs the keeper. Show your older brother some respect, etc.
67' - We expected Oz to start pratting about at this point, to preserve his lead but he seemed confident that the 3-1 scoreline would see him through so continued to attack. However he is forced to hack down Mazzy on the edge of the area, and Mazzy accidentally hits it straight at the wall.
85'- GOAL! A-mazing goal from A'mazin Idris. Wonderful counter-attacking goal, starting all the way back in his own half, the ball never losing its momentum as it passes between four or five players max, eventually being slid expertly beneath the goalie.
FT - Oz and Maz both realise they're travelling to Sardinia. They saunter over to where the Konami representative is waiting to fill them in on the details, and Oz jokes, 'Is this not your worst nightmare?' Your darn tootin'!
A VERY SPECIAL GUEST
It wasn't a lie. Jermain Defoe did indeed make an appearance, and very friendly he seemed too. All the league champions were called up to be presented with Storm watches, shaking hands with Tottenham and England's famous striker. Ian Megahey and Richard Marsh were visibly star struck - for once Ian couldn't think of a silly word to say. When Nolan Dickman hobbled up on his crutches Jermain was kind enough to ask what had happened, showing genuine concern. There was a sense that Jermain kind of wished he'd got here sooner to play a few games. A few chuckles were heard as Oz stepped up in his Chelsea shirt to claim his cup and signed photo of Thierry Henry and John Terry. Oz didn't hang around too long with Jermain, he had some joking around to do with his fellow Londoners and some looking forward to Sardinia with Mazzy. Jermain, however, was happy to shake hands with everyone and have his photo taken, at the same time signing lots of photographs. After a long afternoon, the presence of a true superstar of football really ended the day on a high.
UNTIL NEXT YEAR...!
