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Winning Eleven 8 Details [Joke!]

Zygalski

Administrator
http://www.issextreme.com/scripts/articles.php?article=39

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WE8 (Some Thoughts) | Author: Ronarid

After the amazing success of Winning Eleven 7’s WE shop(which despite sounding like the sort of establishment that would only appeal to a very select minority of bodily fluid admirers, was a big hit with gamers) Konami has announced details of some of Winning Eleven 8’s details including the much rumoured WE supermarket.
Taking up the theme of gamers having to earn WEN in order to unlock features in the game, WE8 expands on this in the following ways:

Initially there is only one selectable team (WENwillwebeabletoplaythegameproperly United) consisting entirely of clones of beanpole Aston Villa striker Peter Crouch. All other players and teams must subsequently be unlocked by amassing WEN with this freakish team of giants by playing against a team of those wooden players they use in training for you to practice free kicks against. This is trickier than it sounds using the unwieldy Mr Crouch.


When you start WE8 the only kit design available is a pair of Speedos and a string vest. The full range of sh*t, nothing like the real thing kits can be unlocked by accumulating WEN as you progress through the game. Additionally, certain special kits can be unlocked including, Luton Town’s third strip from 1999 fully complete with sponsors etc, a see-through kit for the perverts among you and a pair of jeans and t-shirt with Seabass’s grinning face printed on the front and the slogan “F**k off patchers on the back”.


WE8 will feature the biggest selection of stadiums yet in a Winning Eleven game, including some of the world’s greatest that have yet to feature such as the Maracana, Bernabeu and Edgeley Park. However, these will not be accessible from the start and you will at first be limited to playing on a patch of waste ground outside Doncaster, complete with realistic dog sh*t and bits of rubble. (Stop press: It’s rumoured that players who slip on the dog shit will then be shown to have brown smears on them for the rest of the game and will be less likely to be tightly marked by opposing players. Watch this space for further exciting details)


In a bold move that is sure to delight WE fans, Konami has also decided that WE8 will not actually allow you to play football when you first begin the game. Rather, you will be limited to playing a game of “tig” when starting the game. Do well at this and you will amass WEN and unlock more and more exciting games including Postman’s Knock, Musical Statues, British Bulldog, Rounders, American Football and then finally Soccer, or as we like to call it “Soccer”.


Skills moves and tricks were a big favourite in WE7, and these have been taken further in WE8 with all new moves such as “kick the ball in the goal”, “karate-style chop to the opposing players throat”, “pick the ball up and leg it” and the crowd favourite “fall over”. These moves will all be performed by varyingly timed quadruple presses of the select button on the controller or as it is now called “super trick select button”. Of course, none of these moves will be available from the start and they will have to be purchased with WEN. In fact Konami have just revealed that none of the regular football moves will be available initially apart from the chipped through ball, so gamers will have to win matches using just this move at first. What a great challenge! (Stop press: Konami have also announced that it will not be possible to move your players to the left in WE8. It is thought that “left” might be available once 10000000000000 WEN have been accumulated but this has not yet been confirmed.)


Further features that need to be unlocked include, football boots (start off in a pair of suede brogues and progress to such fantastic footwear as Adidas Sambas, and Kevin Keegan’s Patrick boots with deadly metal studs), and commentary (will initially be limited to John Kabira saying “Bollocks” repeatedly, but individual lines of gibberish can be unlocked one by one)
As you can see the WE Supermarket will form a large part of WE8, and because of this, Konami will be supplying a free Asda carrier bag with each copy of the game that is [d nl d d fr m t e nt rn t] purchased. Happy shopping!

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:D
 

gaza1725

Registered User
Even though that fifa fan boy (got to be) is taking the piss out of the game we all love i must admit its very funny :D and well done hehe :(
Gaz
 
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