In the bbc studio: Gary Lineker and special guests Diego maradona and David Ginola.
Gary: Welcome, tonight we bring you a world cup double as Argentina face Uruguay and France kick off their campaign against Italy. Now, sitting next to me, fully rehabilitated, is Argentina ledgend Diego Maradona and David Ginola. We did try to get Eric Cantona here...but we caught him auditioning for a part in a porno involving footballers and poets...so we didnt feel it appropriate to have him in the studio...
Maradona: Hola, England...remember me?? JEJEJEJEJE (waves his HAND around)
Gary: Errr, yes, how could we forget....so the two South American neighbours up tonight..should be a really fierce confrontation, Diego....
Maradona: Yes, Gary Lineker's ears are still too big....as I can remember them...no wait, maybe they are bigger now
Gary: Who do you think is the dangerman for the Argentines? Crespo?...Lopez?
Maradona: Me....of course
Gary: well..maybe 10 years ago...but.....
Maradona: Listen.....I am the best player in all of the world...and you, HAHAHAHA....never won the world cup.
Gary: Well atleast I have never cheated...no yellow cards....never, anyway, this is about the match tonight....not about you.
Maradona: Not about me???...oh........I thought I was on the Frank Skinner show....excuse me. (walks off screen)
Gary: Ummm....yes.....so.........David, How do you think the french will do this time?
Ginola: Bonjour, firstly I would just have to say from my sponsors...that I am worth it. (shakes hair, and run's fingers through hair, smiling cheesily to the camera.....
Gary: Ok, you can take your va va voom and your shampoo and p*SS off to the skinner show as well. To sum up then, two big games coming right up for you. The flamboyant French Vs the Stallions from Italy, and the battle of South America...a melting pot of talent on display and hopefully with goals to boot...shaping up to be a cracker....over to you, 101.