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I may return tonight. Possibly cancer-free, I haven't decided yet.

No doubt they'll make snow part of paid DLC

I was sorry to hear about your own battle with cancer Cracker Jack

You bastard Joel. You know the rule. I'm not even sure how I want that penalty but it deserved to be scored for being so dubious. And mine would have gone in because I always put them in the same place, and the keeper dived to his right.

I'm not sure, but almost certainly a session where I wasn't on and Joel was playing up front.

Deal. What's our record defeat again?

Right - it's settled. At some point tonight Phats will go in goal and me and Joel will be central defenders. In the same game.

It's a reasonable request Joel. But if you miss, then everything you wished on Phats will be done unto you.

If we're comfortably safe than yes. But you have to Schumacher someone.

You are a newcomer in the sense that some of us cunts have been on this for...well, far too long. We'll mix it up tonight. I'd be wank in defence but I don't mind playing in midfield. I can't be arsed to change my guy's attributes, so expect much sucking of air.

I like to think as well, when I'm not scoring goals, I can still win flick-ons from goal kicks, which is pretty important. But I honestly don't mind giving other people a go up there - just say the word if ever you want the striker slot, it's not a problem. I wouldn't want to tell people where...

We'll call it 9 then.

Last week I actually scored four in one game, but it was in the Cup. This is the first time I've done it in the league. I'm putting out the call for tonight. We have one game left and have to win to remain in division one. Therefore we need all the people we can muster. I'm guessing we'll start...

You cunt Matt, the story is what made RDR special. It's far more engrossing than GTA V in that respect. And GTA V is far better than IV, which offers no replay value whatsoever.

Sweey we're 5 points off promotion to Division One with 4 to play. Would have been 3 points but for a last-minute equalizer, which prevented us from winning all 5 of our games last night.

Then we WOAT together Joel

How many do you need? It's RDR for me, with Super Mario Galaxy and Fallout 3 rounding out the rest.

Phats is the king of the horror challenge. He's our Julian Dicks, only fatter

Mostly mid-to-late 70s

Ali the game just decides to fuck us over now and then. Sometimes we just have shitty runs where it doesn't come together.