Medieval 2: Total War [PC]

[Diao]

Ahh right, so for the province you were looking at, Antwerp was the city?

 

[BarnDoor]

Yes

 

[Diao]

Ahh ok, I get it now, can't wait to blow up some Frenchman :tongue:

 

[Usul]

The time is nigh. I have two young and powerful Cardinals in the Vatican. It's only a matter of time before one of them is elected.

I have wrestled control of Antwerp from the damnable Norsemen and the French have been beaten into submission. My King crusaded to Tunis and razed it to the ground, thus gaining the support of the Church.

Happy days for the Empire!

Has anyone built guns yet? Cannons are amazing. No one can stand in our way now.

Here's a tip: When you go crusading, you had better take a diplomat along - this way you can make treaties on the way to the lands of the infidels. Make alliances if possible and secure military access so they don't get pissed off when you are going back home - if you do. Take a priest, an assassin and a spy while you're at it.

 

[Diao]

Just got the game, will tell you want I think

 

[Barry]

The time is nigh. I have two young and powerful Cardinals in the Vatican. It's only a matter of time before one of them is elected.

I have wrestled control of Antwerp from the damnable Norsemen and the French have been beaten into submission. My King crusaded to Tunis and razed it to the ground, thus gaining the support of the Church.

Happy days for the Empire!

Has anyone built guns yet? Cannons are amazing. No one can stand in our way now.

Here's a tip: When you go crusading, you had better take a diplomat along - this way you can make treaties on the way to the lands of the infidels. Make alliances if possible and secure military access so they don't get pissed off when you are going back home - if you do. Take a priest, an assassin and a spy while you're at it.

Oui, cannons and all. Certainly bring along the firepower. Haven't seen enemies use it though.

I like to upset everyone along the way :w00t

 

[Diao]

Was in my first battle and Rennes destorystred me.

I had the upper hand but the cunts went back inside the town then charge at us and wiped us out, and York are refusing my bribes despite being bankrurpt, cunts.

Going to kill the Scots soon, I really need to update my graphic and video card for my PC so I can play it on there as I'm playing it on my laptop and the battles lag .

 

[BarnDoor]

Mate it is definetly worth getting a better graphics card with some more ram. Playing the game on the best settings with the rising sun glinting off the armour is quite amazing. Also to get yourself eased in, play a custom battle, a siege against the Aztecs is nice. Plenty of guns, cannon and conquistadors. A nice easy massacre that you can't help doing again and again

 

[Diao]

Yea, I'm getting myself a better graphics card for sure, probably have to wait acouple of weeks though.

I'm at war with the Danes and the Pope wants me to fix it in 7 weeks and it is 9 weeks before I can get to their town :unsure:

 

[Usul]

I'm at war with the Danes and the Pope wants me to fix it in 7 weeks and it is 9 weeks before I can get to their town :unsure:

He just wants you to cease hostilities for seven turns. You don't need to send a diplomat. They'll probably attack you anyway, at which point the Pope will excommunicate them. I think this needs to be addressed because no one in their right mind would risk that.

We once had such bad relations with him that he sent his Inquisitors to England, and they are still there doing harm when they can. They just burned one of my nobles at the stake because they deemed him a heretic. My people aren't safe outside the castle walls until these cunts are gone.

You can't even touch the bastards and they keep killing witches and heretics, so my cardinals and priests cannot get to them and claim the experience. :realmad:

Hmm, come to think of it, i haven't tried to assassinate them... :ninja:

 

[Barry]

Yea, I'm getting myself a better graphics card for sure, probably have to wait acouple of weeks though.

I'm at war with the Danes and the Pope wants me to fix it in 7 weeks and it is 9 weeks before I can get to their town :unsure:

You could get some siege weapons and assault them. That way you can rape them and feel completely OK with it :w00t

 

[g33k]

Artillery is for pussies, I never use it. It's fucking boring, and too easy. There's nothing quite like flanking the enemy and then raping all their artillery units.

 

[Usul]

Artillery is for pussies, I never use it. It's fucking boring, and too easy. There's nothing quite like flanking the enemy and then raping all their artillery units.

It's not if the people in the castle have cannon towers. :innocent:

I tell you, i spent half an hour yesterday smoking a fat blunt and watching my cannons tear apart a fortress' walls. I just love watching my boys loading up those babies and unleashing gun powder propelled iron projectiles on the enemy.

We then rush the keep and slaughter everyone inside.

 

[g33k]

It's not if the people in the castle have cannon towers. :innocent:

Heheh, that's what peasants are for! I dream of the day I can sit in front of my PC playing Medieval and smoking ganj

 

[Diao]

Well can't play at the moment but I'm about to rape York and take over their town as my 1st army is going to attack and they nearly have a full banner :w00t

The Danes keep attacking my fleet but just run away :huh:

Time to murder the cunts, going to kill Scotland aswell

 

[Barry]

I just got excommunicated again for attacking the Holy Roman Empire, trying to send my assasin over to Rome t curb stomp the Pope and BAM! In goes my cardinal.

 

[Diao]

Can I kill my Pope, I'm not a religous person :mellow:

I'm going to kill Milan now, and hopefully their football team :w00t

 

[Usul]

Can you actually assassinate the Pope?

I've never even seen that vile excuse for a holy man.

 

[Diao]

Who is the pope, is he the guy that spreads religon ?

 

[Usul]

Who is the pope, is he the guy that spreads religon ?

Have you just landed on this planet?

He's the cunt, pardon my French, that keeps asking me to send Christians down to Africa and the Middle East, to slaughter and pillage Muslim cities.

He's the one that rules the Papal States with an iron fist and favours the faction he hails from over any others, no matter how pious they may be.

He's the scumbag that will end up kissing the soles of my boots, laden with the blood of his family and his Swiss guard, after my armies level the walls of his stronghold.

I will burn the bastard on a gigantic pyre whose flames i will feed with the bones of his people.

He will rue the day his path crossed mine!