Medieval 2: Total War [PC]

[Usul]

It's good to see Papal States on there

Yes, yes it is. I am going to raze the Vatican and personnaly execute the Pope.

 

[Venolan]

Yes, yes it is. I am going to raze the Vatican and personnaly execute the Pope.

:laugh: With what army the chavs?

Form ranks you mother f*****s :laugh:

 

[footballcool91]

Hopefully my computer will take this. The game looks very good Am hopefully gonna get it.

 

[Venolan]

Hopefully my computer will take this. The game looks very good Am hopefully gonna get it.

Same here, you passed 100 well done there :happy:

 

[AgentZero]

man all the total war games are just wikid!

 

[BarnDoor]

Yes, yes it is. I am going to raze the Vatican and personnaly execute the Pope.

You better be ready with your mamluks and Saracen infantry Muad. After i have buried the popes raped and charred body, i'm marching to the east, destroying your rabble army, arrive at Mecca, burn it and drag the most blessed leader, Imam rancid gashacous the II out of the ruins and skull banging him

Then no doubt as i come to execute you, by then your pants soiled and weeping like a baby the Mongols will arrive and destroy us all and wipe the world out. Shit happen i guess

 

[BarnDoor]

That had better not be the final list.

I can't believe they did not include feudal Japan.

I would love to see the east in it but it only goes as far as the Caspian which is a damn shame. How good would it be to see the warrior monks fighting with knights templar eh?

 

[Usul]

You better be ready with your mamluks and Saracen infantry Muad. After i have buried the popes raped and charred body, i'm marching to the east, destroying your rabble army, arrive at Mecca, burn it and drag the most blessed leader, Imam rancid gashacous the II out of the ruins and skull banging him

Then no doubt as i come to execute you, by then your pants soiled and weeping like a baby the Mongols will arrive and destroy us all and wipe the world out. Shit happen i guess

:laugh:

My Hashashin bodyguards would get me out of there before the shit hit the fan. :ninja:

I would love to see the east in it but it only goes as far as the Caspian which is a damn shame. How good would it be to see the warrior monks fighting with knights templar eh?

The bastards are probably reserving the east for their next game.

 

[BarnDoor]

:laugh:

My Hashashin bodyguards would get me out of there before the shit hit the fan. :ninja:

The bastards are probably reserving the east for their next game.

I will personally find the Old Man of the Mountain and feed him his heart before raping his mother before his dying eyes. I'll then run down the whole bastard Hashshashin sect as they tried to avenge his death.

As for the next game you're probably right, I've no doubt in a few years time Medieval III will encompass the whole world, so we can invade Europe with marauding Warrior Monks, launch a Crusade on Mongolia and my personal favourite sack Ethiopia with an Inca raiding party.

 

[Usul]

I will personally find the Old Man of the Mountain and feed him his heart before raping his mother before his dying eyes. I'll then run down the whole bastard Hashshashin sect as they tried to avenge his death.

You will then leave me with no other choice but to declare a Jihad on you and yours. We are a righteous people, so rather than raise an army and go ravage your lands and slaughter innocent people, i shall muster a handful of my most loyal and bloodthirsty Hashashins and Mamluks.

We'll infiltrate your domain in the darkest of nights and lay in wait until the time to strike is propicious; once your people are deep in their heavy, alcohol induced, sleep. At this point, i will signal for the Master of my Hashashin clan to spark a pipe, filled with the most potent of herbs, and pass it around for the men to inhale and get in the right mood. Once this ritual is complete, we'll scale the walls of your keep. All of your guards will meet their maker. Throats will be slit with curved blades and hearts will be pierced by black arrows. Many of your men will die in their sleep, most shameless of deaths to a warrior.

Once your protectors have been disposed of, and your servants have been rounded and locked up, my men will break into the bedrooms of your family.

I will drag you by the hair out of your bed with my own hands, you vile creature.

I will have my people bind your hands and those of the men of your clan while your females are dragged outside and thrown onto the backs of horses. Worry not, we are not as barbaric as you forest dwellers. These women will be left untouched, until they reach the safety of my Harem. There i shall have my wives and servants cleanse and purify them, so they are clean of your filth when i return. After their matrices have been destroyed, so there is no chance of them ever breeding again, and they have been assimilated, your mother, sisters and cousins will become my wives. Rest assured, they will receive my most special of cares.

When the women have been sent on their way, us men can relax and take care of bussiness.

You will be immediately tied to a cross, this morbid symbol that your people so revere. A fitting beginning to your end, i'm sure you'll agree. From there you'll have a great view of the proceedings.

Those of my men who had been direct students of the Old Man will then be given leave to do with the males of your household as they see fit. In the state of mind that they will be in, after having smoked such primo ganja and having already spilled so much infidel blood, the torture and pain that awaits your loved ones is better left to the imagination. Suffice to say that by the time we are done with them, they will be hanging by their feet, stripped of their manhood. We shall then put them out of their misery in the same way that you dirty dogs kill your swine. Their throats will be punctured so they can slowly bleed to death.

Then, after i have taken your females, slaughtered the men of your household and ensured that your line has been extinguished and your seed has been wiped from the face of the earth, i will take care of you, you murdering bastard.

Firstly, you will be stripped of your clothing. Undoubtedly, by now every creature in the land that lives off death will be rushing to such a site of carnage. Crows and vultures will be landing on nearby trees and the walls of your castle, whilst other vermin lurk in the shadows waiting for us to leave.

We will make small cuts all over your body and smear your testicles and face with honey.

This is how we will leave you and how the villagers and servants will find you in the morow. Surrounded by scavengers, your shredded remains still clinging desperately to the cross in a futile attempt to resemble anything human.Your troops lying dead in the courtyard and their barracks, their blood soiling every inch of the ground, and your brethren hanging from every post.

Then a woman will cross the entrance to your keep, desperately searching for her son, but will stumble upon human remains. A horrific shreak will rise from her throat and rip through the twilight air when she realizes that it is a mix of scrotum, falli, blood and cum, neatly piled up and left there for all to see and remember to never fuck with us.

Salam Aleykum

:laugh:

As for the next game you're probably right, I've no doubt in a few years time Medieval III will encompass the whole world, so we can invade Europe with marauding Warrior Monks, launch a Crusade on Mongolia and my personal favourite sack Ethiopia with an Inca raiding party.

Man, how the hell are the Incas going to cross the Atlantic. With canoes?

 

[Barry]

Aw shite, I can't play with The Mongols! Damn you Creative Assembly, may a camel give birth in your bed.

Playable from start:
The English
The Holy Roman Empire
The French
The Venetians
The Spanish

Unlockable:
The Egyptians (Presumably the Fatimid dynasty (Early Period), Ayyubid dynasty (High Period) and finally the Mamluks (Late Period))
The Byzantine Empire
The Papacy (non-playable)
The Moors also known as Almohads
The Scots
The Danes
The Portuguese
The Poles
The Milanese
The Sicilians
The Russians
The Hungarians
The Seljuk Turks, Ottoman Turks

Non Playable:
The Timurids
The Mongols
The Aztecs

I can't wait to rape and plunder the Portuguese, let's see how they'll fair without a ref :tongue: I'll just take the Holy Roman Empire, it's probably the closest thing to Holland.

 

[BarnDoor]

Aw shite, I can't play with The Mongols! Damn you Creative Assembly, may a camel give birth in your bed.

Playable from start:
The English
The Holy Roman Empire
The French
The Venetians
The Spanish

Unlockable:
The Egyptians (Presumably the Fatimid dynasty (Early Period), Ayyubid dynasty (High Period) and finally the Mamluks (Late Period))
The Byzantine Empire
The Papacy (non-playable)
The Moors also known as Almohads
The Scots
The Danes
The Portuguese
The Poles
The Milanese
The Sicilians
The Russians
The Hungarians
The Seljuk Turks, Ottoman Turks

Non Playable:
The Timurids
The Mongols
The Aztecs

I can't wait to rape and plunder the Portuguese, let's see how they'll fair without a ref :tongue: I'll just take the Holy Roman Empire, it's probably the closest thing to Holland.

That's what moddings for mate, I'll have most of them (bar the Timurids and Mongols as they emerge, and CA have for some reason done away with periods. I can't tell if the Aztecs emerge though) playable within minutes. Also I doubt you can play as the Papacy for the same reason you couldn't play as the Senate in Rome - its far too fiddly bossing other factions about, in this case ordering Crusades and excommunicating people and the game will probably crash. Tell you what, when I get it I'll send you the file if you want, if its anything like the last game it should be fairly quick and easy.

And as for you Muad'Dib, that is truly horrendous and you will get the appropriate 'Chevauchee' on the lands of the infidel later on.

But to answer your second question, I expect the Incas to connect about 4 canoes together to make a 'Super Canoe', and then they can sail across the Atlantic and beyond at free will.

 

[Usul]

That's what moddings for mate, I'll have most of them (bar the Timurids and Mongols as they emerge, and CA have for some reason done away with periods. I can't tell if the Aztecs emerge though) playable within minutes. Also I doubt you can play as the Papacy for the same reason you couldn't play as the Senate in Rome - its far too fiddly bossing other factions about, in this case ordering Crusades and excommunicating people and the game will probably crash. Tell you what, when I get it I'll send you the file if you want, if its anything like the last game it should be fairly quick and easy.

You make the mods yourself? As in new factions with their specific units?

 

[Barry]

That's what moddings for mate, I'll have most of them (bar the Timurids and Mongols as they emerge, and CA have for some reason done away with periods. I can't tell if the Aztecs emerge though) playable within minutes. Also I doubt you can play as the Papacy for the same reason you couldn't play as the Senate in Rome - its far too fiddly bossing other factions about, in this case ordering Crusades and excommunicating people and the game will probably crash. Tell you what, when I get it I'll send you the file if you want, if its anything like the last game it should be fairly quick and easy.

And as for you Muad'Dib, that is truly horrendous and you will get the appropriate 'Chevauchee' on the lands of the infidel later on.

But to answer your second question, I expect the Incas to connect about 4 canoes together to make a 'Super Canoe', and then they can sail across the Atlantic and beyond at free will.

I'd greatly appreciate it. Given the game starts in 1080(if I'm correct), somewhere around 1200 the Mongols should come around given that Genghis unites the tribes So the Aztecs would have to emerge about a century later.

Will they actually divide the Timurids into the Timurid Empire, Tamerlane's and the Mughals?

 

[BarnDoor]

You make the mods yourself? As in new factions with their specific units?

Not to give too much away mate but i do quite alot of modding, just the total war games. I still mod the original medieval quite extensively and i modded rome with units and provinces added but the latter was mainly for home use and not released. You couldn't add factions for rome which was the one reason that put me off it mate.

I have my eye on Medieval 2 and have got a few lads together who know their business and expect quite a big mod for game. I want to get to grips with the game first though but i'll let you know how i get on.

Barry, the game begins in 1080 or 1081. The timurids will probably just have their mongol/tartar raiding style prior to his horrendous acts in North India, so wouldn't expect the Mogul possessions. Infact Indian isn't going to be in it which is a shame. The Aztecs might appear around the 1300 date but then again they might be in it from the start from the off. I believe around 1490 as your tech tree develops the American map will become more clear. There is a chance you could mod them to be playable but it won't be certain they can travel the seas. I might make them a canoe fleet or something similar so they can traverse the seas more for the laugh than anythingn else. I plan to raid the potato and Guiness farms of Ireland but no doubt a bog army of Kerns and Galloglaich will smash the shit out of me

 

[Barry]

Aye, they haven't released much on naval warfare. It would be awesome to sail over to Spain and plunder the whole country with the Aztecs :laugh:

 

[Usul]

Not to give too much away mate but i do quite alot of modding, just the total war games. I still mod the original medieval quite extensively and i modded rome with units and provinces added but the latter was mainly for home use and not released. You couldn't add factions for rome which was the one reason that put me off it mate.

What kind of tools and/or software would i need to mod Rome.

I'd like to give it a try. Maybe make a couple of Lord of the Rings armies...

 

[BarnDoor]

There is a very good LOTR mod out, check the total war.org forums and then the rome modding section. Shoud be in the Forge section.

Modding wise such as units you can make new skins and such using paint shop pro. For changing animations and the unit lay out you will 3DS Max, you can download a free month's trial but it is really, really difficult mate. For a great mod with a whole new eastern theatre with monsters and ghouls and asiatic warriors check out a mod called Blue Lotus. It is truely amazing you won't believe your eyes

 

[Usul]

There is a very good LOTR mod out, check the total war.org forums and then the rome modding section. Shoud be in the Forge section.

Modding wise such as units you can make new skins and such using paint shop pro. For changing animations and the unit lay out you will 3DS Max, you can download a free month's trial but it is really, really difficult mate. For a great mod with a whole new eastern theatre with monsters and ghouls and asiatic warriors check out a mod called Blue Lotus. It is truely amazing you won't believe your eyes

Thanks, i'll be checking them out in a moment.

I could easily get 3DS Max here in Syria but it sounds like it is a complex program so if anything i would only go as far as making new skins. I only want to see Uruk-Hais clash against Elves and Rohirrim with the Rome engine.

What's the difference between a skin and the unit layout?

EDIT: I'm downloading Blue Lotus and the LOTR mods now. Blue Lotus looks very promising...

 

[BarnDoor]

I'll give you a tenner if you can guess who i am on there. If you have some idea don't blurt it out to the world because expect three assassins off their head on drugs to come crashing through your window and teabag you to death